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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968803">The Price of Truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKGO/pseuds/SKGO'>SKGO</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Betrayal, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Claustrophobia, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Height Differences, Humanity's Strongest, Loss, Multi, Murder, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:55:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKGO/pseuds/SKGO</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A woman can slip through the cracks in any society. Finding the dark corners where the truth hides, she can trap it and viciously bend it to her will. Erwin's childhood friend leads this reader-focused story about loss, betrayal, friendship and love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Erwin Smith/Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader, Original Character(s)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Sunlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Following the timeline of the Attack On Titan story arc "Return to Shiganshina", the complicated back stories of political intrigue that brought Levi Ackerman to the Survey Corps and facilitated the coup d'etat within the Walls receives a different treatment.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Sunlight can be so soft. Deceptive, even.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The sun over the walls of Trost District burned hot as you rode through the inner gate. The journey away from the capital city had taken much longer than you had anticipated, the length of the ceremonies and the security and planning meetings which you had to stand and sit through dragging at a snail’s pace. All the pomp and formalities you thought you had escaped for all those years had become your new line of work; you’d had enough of the job already, and it had barely been two months. It wasn’t all bad, though. One saving grace was Her Grace’s humor and frankness. The conversation you’d had with her after the coronation and Dot’s recommendation felt natural, like two old friends discussing the banalities and wonders of life. In order to keep your father and yourself safe from the purge, Dot had generously provided you an escape. You were talented and knowledgeable and, despite behaviors that some in the aristocracy outwardly condemned, yet privately engaged in, you possessed a morality that would benefit the new government and Her Majesty.</p>
<p>Sweaty and sore, you secured your lodging in somewhat-less-than-prestigious accommodations (with a fabulous stable) along the river. Laying your riding gear out on a sunny patch of the bed to dry, you hastily changed your pants and fixed your hair, fingering the leather bands of your knife holster; should you stay strapped? Or leave it behind? <em>Surely this city has been secured… </em>Figuring that you would need to keep up the pretenses that justified your mad gallop from Mitras for a little while longer, you removed the thigh straps and slipped the belt on your waist through the loop of the leather sheath, making sure to position the handle at a forward angle. You made one last stop to drop a small heap of coin in the stable boy’s hands before bursting forth onto the river promenade. You simply needed to stretch your legs before you went to call on your dear friend, Erwin.</p>
<p> The storefronts along the gleaming river were somewhat paltry. Given the recent economic and political upheaval, it was to be expected. A small sign of brightly colored chalk depictions of mugs and sweets caught your eye, though.</p>
<p><em>A tea shop?</em> <em>Oh, how lovely… I’m sure Erwin will appreciate something from here. Perhaps a mild red tea? </em></p>
<p>You sauntered into the small storehouse, momentarily blind from the sudden change in brightness. A young woman with strawberry blond hair and hazel eyes smiled prettily from behind a counter.</p>
<p>“Welcome! How are you today?” Her eyes scanned you from head to toe swiftly, trying to determine what kind of customer you would be.</p>
<p>“I’m doing well. The weather is so fine today. I felt the need to explore what Trost has to offer someone with … particular tastes.” Your eyes moved slowly from hers down the outline of her throat, listlessly tracing the curve of her breasts. Heat rising in your chest, you met her eyes again, savoring the blush along her cheeks as she held her breath, lips gently parted. Advancing towards her, a small black and silver badge on your hip bearing the emblem of a mace flashed as you whipped your cloak out of the way to retrieve a densely packed purse. The young woman’s face stiffened slightly, as she searched yours warily.</p>
<p>“Oh, this?” You gestured to the badge, “don’t mind it. Merely a formality right now. We don’t have to talk about it, do we?” Your smile, warm and inviting and reaching your eyes, disarmed her, her shoulders relaxing as she exhaled. You indicated to her that you were hoping to purchase a mild red tea, and she laid out several tins. Astounded that such a small shop could have such a selection, you asked her for a recommendation; she responded by taking three tins with her through the rear doorway, out of sight. Calling sweetly to you after a few minutes, she reappeared with a tray of three cups, all steaming.</p>
<p>“I suppose the best way to know which tea you would like is to try them.” She smiled and set the tray down on the counter. Cocking your head and brow, you reached for the middle cup. Bringing its edge to your bottom lip, you paused and looked directly into her eyes.</p>
<p>“You wouldn’t be trying to poison me, would you? Considering the changes within the walls recently...” The corner of your mouth lifted in a one-sided grin, exposing your eyetooth. The woman’s mouth gaped as she blushed again, unsure what to say. <em>Fuck, this might be fun. </em>You smiled again, closing your eyes as you sipped the red tea.</p>
<p>Barley. Toasty notes, with a deep earthy core. <em>Ah, this isn’t red tea at all… what a disappointment. </em>You sighed, slightly shaking your head.</p>
<p>“While I know you would like for me to taste all of your wares, I’ll be satisfied with a tin of this tea here for now,” you lifted the cup in your hand, draining its contents before setting it firmly back on the tray. She blushed again, nodding her head and swiftly removing the tray from the counter. Bored, you peered at the labels under the tins on the shelves, wondering how many of these ‘teas’ were legitimate. You debated whether to scold the woman for lying as a pretext, when she returned with a small paper bag of three tins of the tea and a sleeve of small round confections. Her head was bowed as she held out the bag, her cheeks bright red.</p>
<p>“Please. I know that the teas in my store aren’t truly what the labels say they are. I know you don't look like Military Police, but I don’t know who to trust these days. I apologize for misleading you, and I simply ask that you forget this occurred.” Her hand was trembling, but her breathing was controlled. A subtle scent of fear wafted to your nose. <em>Damn it, took it too far, too fast. I’ll have to give her space to calm down.</em></p>
<p>You took the bag from her hands, setting it on the counter gently as you plopped the heavy purse next to it. Three gold coins clattered onto the wooden surface, eliciting a small jump from your quarry. Grasping her hands in yours, you stroked them with your thumbs, reveling in the power dynamic you’d created. Her skin was warm, even though she was clearly terrified. She looked up, golden eyes locked on your own [e/c] eyes, her breath catching as the blood suffused her lovely cheeks.</p>
<p>“I would never accept something that wasn’t properly paid for.” Dropping her hands, you closed your purse, snatched the bag and about-faced, striding briskly into the sunlight. The sunlight was bright and strong as you made your way to the division headquarters where the Survey Corps was housed.</p>
<p>After a few minutes of walking, the heat of the sun on your back reminded you of your windswept appearance, with the strong smell of wool and sweat curling in your nose. Removing your cloak, you stopped to shake it out vigorously, partially untucking the back of your shirt to catch a breeze. The air on your back felt cool, as the rivulets of sweat began to evaporate. You hadn’t changed your shirt before leaving your room, but it was no matter; Erwin wasn’t a stickler for things like that. He wouldn’t mind your disheveled appearance, as long as your company was gratifying.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“[Y/n].”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> She stopped in her tracks, skirts rustling softly from the sudden change in momentum. That voice, one she hadn’t heard in years, calling her name. Should she turn?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Erwin. What an honor.” She drawled sarcastically, turning slowly around.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The young Survey Corpsman held the carriage door open, extending his hand to the [h/c] maiden, a subtle smile that never quite reached his eyes playing across his face for a moment. She lightly placed her hand in his, stepping into the dark small space. As the door of the carriage closed, the gentle lurch and the clip-clop of the horse were the only discernable signs of movement for a few minutes. The silence was finally broken, unceremoniously, by the woman.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“So, what do you want?” Her [e/c] eyes languidly surveyed Erwin’s face, her head tilting disinterestedly to one side. He shifted his gaze from the scenes of life outside the small window to her face, no smile or change in emotion perceptible; if he was offended by her directness, he betrayed nothing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“I’ve heard that you’re making quite the name for yourself. Shirking most of your noble duties, cavorting with servants of higher-status families. Cooking.” He smirked, which elicited a small chuckle from her. Spreading her legs under the long skirts and throwing one arm up along the back of her seat, she shook her head.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“And how would you know anything of what I’ve been up to in Mitras, hm? Keeping tabs on me since my mother died? I thought you’d be too busy avoiding death outside the walls… chasing whatever drove you from the arms of that pretty girl from the bar.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>His eyes widened slightly; how did she know about Marie? He hadn’t spoken with [Y/n] directly for at least five years, since the funeral for her mother; but he had never spoken before of the woman from so long ago with her, or anyone for that matter.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“[Y/n], How – ” She tsked, waving her hand dismissively while staring him down.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Back to the point, Squad Leader; why track me down in the middle of a hunt?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>She leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees, hunching over and staring up at him. He didn’t recognize the practically feral creature before him. Despite the same lips, cheeks and eyes that had lit up during her private lessons with his father, the woman in front of him seemed cold and hard, lacking the joy and curiosity of that girl. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>A pang of guilt surged through him. He could have, should have, kept her close after they lost his father. For years, she had visited their region with her mother, who would leave [Y/n] with Erwin to play, or to study the maps and various curios along the shelves in the Smith family's small library. She was fascinated with nature, and they would venture into the surrounding woods and fields to explore. She was no older than he was, yet he knew that she had been far less knowledgeable about the world they lived in. The years that had passed without seeing her drove him farther from the boy he was, his relentless pursuit of proof turning him away from the frivolities of youth. He hadn’t thought of her until he received word of her mother passing; it was only then that he had learnt of her activities over the years.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>She had stopped all traditional lessons for noble women a few years after he had left, preferring instead to fight and train with weapons alongside the boys aspiring to become Military Police. She rebelled against her father any chance she could, causing a stir when she would leave their opulent apartments dressed in a simple tunic and pants. She began carrying a knife on her thigh, which drew more unwanted attention from the rest of the nobility and the Military Police, forcing her father to lock her away in their estate north of Wall Sheena. When her mother died, she had been gone from Mitras for three years. Her return seemed to signal some kind of change. She was outwardly compliant with most of her father’s requests, attending parties and taking on a few of the duties her mother had held when important noblemen and businessmen would visit. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Outside of those infrequent events, she would scarper off in a hooded cloak and pants, wandering the back streets of the large houses around the royal city, peeking into kitchens and making inroads with the cooks and maids of almost every noble house. She would watch them cook, grabbing ingredients herself and mimicking the more experienced kitchen staff. She had developed many friendships, in addition to a budding culinary talent. Inquisitive and devious, she also began compiling a black book on the nobility. The loyalty she had earned over the years from the staffs of the great houses protected her true identity, and while it was suspected that she was the phantom that stole secrets and shameless moments from the lips of servants, it could never have been proven without scandal. She had laid quite the trap for any potential enemies, which was precisely what Erwin was counting on.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>I need your assistance in a matter that I believe requires a deft hand. There are elements within the government that, as you know, would rather disband the Survey Corps, and dispel any ideas of venturing outside of the walls. While I want to believe that our mission is cause enough to maintain a strong base of support, I’m also not so naïve to believe that our opposition is coming from an equally pure stance.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>She leaned back, crossing her legs. The skirts fell into her lap, revealing two leather bands around the middle of her thigh. She studied his face, trying to discern what he was getting at; did he need information? Or did he need action? </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“So, I take it you need to know about anyone attempting to mess with the Survey Corps. Does this include information that would help you, specifically? Or only that which you could use to protect the Corps? Be more direct, Erwin.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>He stared at her thigh, recognizing what was clearly a harness for the knife she kept on her at all times, though it appeared that the knife rested on her inner thigh. He found that possibility distracting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“I believe there is a group or an individual seeking to profit from disbanding the Corps. Our movements as of late have been intensely scrutinized, as they have been simultaneously restricted. I believe this element has some ties with the Military Police, considering there has been an increase in discrepancies on inventories of equipment and supplies for the vertical maneuvering gear we rely on. There is a distinct lack of alarm from the committee that determines the military’s budget about these missing resources. I have no proof whatsoever; simply an instinct.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>[Y/n] uncrossed her legs, sitting upright in the plush seat, her skirts cascading down to her feet. The carriage wasn’t moving very fast, and the driver seemed to understand that this journey had no set destination. She looked out the window, the street scene passing by brightly lit by sunshine. Clenching her teeth and inhaling suddenly, she leaned across the distance between their knees, placing her hand on his thigh.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I think I’ve got some pertinent information for you, my old friend. Specifically, where you might find some of that missing equipment. When would you like me to show you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>His eyes glinted. He had played the right cards, his gamble paying off. She had always been bright, tenacious and full of life, so of course she would be useful. With her finger on the pulse of the royal city, she was the perfect informant. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“We could go right now,” he offered. She nodded.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“We’ll have to make a detour first. I need to change; these skirts are going to make it hard to run, if we must.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The maze of barracks had finally spread out before you, the freshly beaten cloak once more fastened around your shoulders and shirt snuggly tucked into your trousers. A large door stood open, the gaping entrance like a huge mouth leading into a dank bowl. You shuddered, moving quickly into the darkness of the main corridor and angling for the stairs. <em>…Must get to the second floor… </em></p>
<p>You could see the glow at the top of the stairs, and your heart raced as the cold air of the stairwell whipped around you; you needed to GET OUT of the cold enclosed space, to get from between the suffocating barriers around you. Rounding the corner on the last step, you paused, catching your breath and feeling your heartbeat slow.</p>
<p>The second-floor corridor was bright. Your eyes adjusted quickly to the change, blithely enjoying the streams of warm light filtering through the various open doors as you strolled down the hallway, lightly clutching the small brown bag.</p>
<p>A large set of closed double doors to the right loomed dark within the soft light, where it was almost certain that Erwin was holding council with his squad leaders. Considering what you knew about the impending mission to retake Shiganshina District, and your fairly in-depth understanding of Erwin Smith, there weren’t many other options. The sound of voices, Erwin’s distinctly full tone in particular, filtered through the door as you approached. Hearing chairs scrape, and a few chuckles as the door was pulled open, the familiar face of Hange Zoë came into view.</p>
<p>“… you used to have such a crush on him.”</p>
<p>Hange’s face was tense.</p>
<p>“Shut your stupid mouth.” The small group dispersed into the hallway, Hange catching your eye for a moment before their attention was drawn back to the door being abruptly closed behind them.</p>
<p>“Levi…?” They looked quizzically at the door, and then turned to you to speak; you raised your finger to your lips, coyly smiling as you shook your head slowly. Creeping to the door, you motioned for them to head out, mouthing, ‘I’ll talk to you later’. Gently, you rested your back against the closed door, listening intently with slow and shallow breaths.</p>
<p>“…what are we going to do after retaking Wall Maria? I assume…” The voice, with its slightly grinding rasp cutting through a sultry depth, could only belong to Levi.</p>
<p>“… There seems to be someone out on the other side of the walls who’s determined to see us eaten by titans. And our best shot of finding out who seems to be in that basement. So as I said before, let’s think about that after we get to that basement.”</p>
<p><em>Oh, Erwin. More instinct?</em> The raspy voice cut through your thoughts.</p>
<p>“You realize I’m asking you because I don’t know whether you’ll live that long, right? You can’t move like you used to be able to. As you are, you’re titan food.”</p>
<p>Your eyebrows really flew up at this insolent statement. You knew that Erwin had lost his arm, knowledge gained second-hand from Dot over tea, who then practically sat on you to keep you from rushing the infirmary. Even still, Levi's notorious disregard for rank caught you off-guard.</p>
<p>“…I’m not carrying any extra baggage. You stay here and wait for the good news. I’ll tell them that I complained until you gave in; in fact, that’s what I plan to do. All right?”</p>
<p>The silence that followed felt unbelievably tense. You were certain the directness of Levi’s words had cut through Erwin’s stubbornness. You could feel yourself trembling, something that felt unnatural, wrong. The bag in your hand was crumpling as your fist clenched. Surely Erwin would–</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Your heart dropped. Your eyes went up to the ceiling, suppressing a strong desire to sigh. He continued.</p>
<p>“I don’t care. Use me as bait.” <em>You son of a – </em>“The chain of command will remain. If I can’t lead, Hange will. If Hange can’t, the next in line will.” <em>Fucking liar, you’re not this selfless, why – </em>“I admit this operation will be difficult, but it will also be the most important in human history –” <em>Oh, for fucks sake, here we go – </em>“ – I’ve put everything I have into it. This is my plan. Without me, it’s less likely to succeed.”</p>
<p>You shook your head, looking down at your soft leather boots, visibly worn from so many years of prowling and running and living. Had Erwin ever truly lived? Levi interrupted your thoughts once more.</p>
<p>“You’re right. The operation might fail. And if you bite the dust while we’re at it, we’re done for. You just need to sit and use your head. That’s enough. That’ll do more than anything else will to trip up the titans and help humanity.”</p>
<p>
  <em>This man is making sense, Erwin. Pay attention. </em>
</p>
<p>“No, that’s not true; I can do the most good by staking everything on this operation and – ”</p>
<p>“Oi, oi, oi, stop. Stop. If you give me one more noble-sounding excuse, I’ll break both your legs.”</p>
<p>Your heart skipped a beat. Threatening Erwin so directly, after insulting him and bluntly calling him out, made something in your stomach flip; this man had some serious mettle. His voice continued in a low growl.</p>
<p>“I’ll make them easy to put back together later but break them enough to make sure you stay behind. Of course, it’ll hurt to go to the bathroom for a while.”</p>
<p>You grinned wide, chuckling silently to yourself. Erwin’s own laughter rippled through the door.</p>
<p>“That just wouldn’t do. Of course, you’re right; it’s better for a wounded soldier to stay off the front lines. But, you see…”</p>
<p>
  <em>Dammit, Erwin.</em>
</p>
<p>“... I have to be there at the moment we learn the truth about this world.”</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Ah, there you are, you selfish bastard. </em>
</p>
<p>Your thoughts buzzed with anger. You’d known for a long time that the ostensibly pure motivations of the esteemed Commander of the Survey Corps were elaborately spun webs of deceit hiding a breathlessly egotistic goal. There was a small window in time where you’d believed his spiel about the battle to free humanity from the terror of the titans. You had contemplated a late entry into the military, just to be part of the action and to feel some greater motivation beyond revenge and vindication. Those days were long gone.</p>
<p>“…Fine. Erwin… I’ll trust your judgement.”</p>
<p>You felt the slight vibration of the door as Levi gripped the handle. Lightly spinning around to enter, you did a once over of your clothing; everything looked fine. <strong>SNIFF</strong> The strong scent of wool and sweat had disappeared. As the door opened, Levi’s face appeared, his eyes cast to the ground. The door followed him swiftly, slamming shut. You opened your mouth, only to gasp at the suddenness of his exit and clench your teeth. Levi’s eyes lifted to meet yours.</p>
<p>“And … what do you want?” His expression registered no confusion, no curiosity. Just acknowledgment of your presence. You bristled slightly at the informal tone, cocking an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, <em>Captain.</em>” You took a step back, bowing slightly with an extended arm, maintaining eye contact with the steely grey eyes now boring into you. He sighed heavily, looking away.</p>
<p>“The Commander is busy. Go away.” He pursed his lips lightly.<em> They’re still quite full for such a sour expression... </em>Your lips parted slightly as you looked him up and down.</p>
<p>“I suppose it’s a good thing he’s not <em>my </em>Commander, now isn’t it?” You advanced towards the door, hand lifted lazily to knock. Levi intercepted, grabbing your wrist firmly. The roughness of his palm felt warm and dry on your skin.</p>
<p>“He doesn’t need to be bothered.” He turned his head towards you as you smirked.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t think he’s going to mind my company.” You flicked your wrist, rapping your knuckles against the door. Levi’s cold eyes never left yours.</p>
<p>“<em>Come in.</em>” Winking at the slightly disgusted captain, you brushed past him and to open the door.</p>
<p>Erwin was standing behind a large desk, staring out a set of large windows. He turned his head as you beamed, raising the bag for him to see. His eyebrows lifted slightly; you wondered whether you or the tea had come as a surprise.</p>
<p>“I brought gifts. Tea and… biscuits, I believe. I’ll have to go back to ask that beautiful liar at some point.” Your heart raced slightly at the thought of returning to the tea shop to torture the hazel-eyed woman again, before inevitably baiting her into satiating your desires. Erwin gestured to the chairs and table between you. Setting the bag down, you removed your cloak, falling heavily into a chair. Swinging your legs up onto the table, you crossed your ankles as you smiled at him. After a few seconds, you clasped your hands, twiddling your thumbs.</p>
<p>"So… I suppose you’re not entirely surprised to see me?”</p>
<p>He smiled. <em>Fucking finally. </em>“No, I’m not. Pixis told me that you would likely find me as soon as you were situated in your new role. I expected you wouldn’t wait until my return to find me.” You nodded your head slowly. Looking across the table at him, you could see the limpness of his right sleeve, the black material falling lamely at his side. Taking your legs off the table, you leaned forward with your hands out. Erwin stared blankly at them for a moment, then his right eyebrow lifted. “[Y/n]?”</p>
<p>“For fucks sake, man, give me your hand.” You smiled mischievously, all the while feeling a tugging sensation in your stomach, beseeching you to move in his direction. There had always been too much distance and poor timing between the two of you. The gulf between you never seemed to widen, but simply deepen with missed opportunities to take a different path. This childhood friend that had disappeared when your beloved tutor was murdered by the crown for being intelligent became the man who had materialized years later and dared to offer you support when you lost your mother. Not that she had been terribly important to you; she was like your father, and most of the hierarchy that you and he had both suffered under. Complacent. Comfortable. Cowardly.</p>
<p>The same man that had come all the way to the interior after a five-year absence to use your skills and lack of remorse to his advantage, brazenly enjoying the pleasure of your company in sporadic affairs thereafter.</p>
<p>Erwin brought his hand to yours, and you felt its warmth. You traced the lines in his palm, counting the callouses. Comparing the differences and similarities with your own weathered hands. You knew that women in the military had hands like yours; you wondered for the umpteenth time whether you should have blindly followed this blue-eyed demon into the fire all those years ago.</p>
<p>His fingers curled around yours, squeezing lightly. The affectionate gesture at once made you lightheaded and annoyed; is this how he tells you that he will never come back? You pulled your hands back.</p>
<p>“You know, you could have told me <em>before</em> your little coup that your arm had been eaten. You knew where I was the whole damned time, Erwin.” <em>Waiting for you.</em> Crossing your arms, you sat back in the chair and stared through the window at the sky. The sun was low, getting closer to dusk with every passing minute. Erwin sighed softly.</p>
<p>“[Y/n], I apologize. Perhaps I didn’t –”</p>
<p>“Consider me? Yes, I’m sure that’s what happened. I don’t cross your mind unless you need something from me, isn’t that correct?” Your voice was calm, and your demeanor cool, but your heart and stomach were writhing with anger… and something else. Sadness? Longing? Who knew; certainly not you. Standing abruptly to stretch, you walked to the window he had stood by not minutes before. The river glistened under the last rays of sun reaching over the wall.</p>
<p>“Erwin. I’m not mad. In fact, I’m curious. All of this for a dream… how can knowing what’s outside the walls be worth <em>dying</em> for?” Somewhere on the promenade, you knew that tea shop was closing up for the day, the young woman going through her daily inventory before locking the doors. Erwin rose from the chair to join you at the window, resting his good shoulder against the frame in the middle.</p>
<p>“[Y/n], do you remember when everything changed? When did you finally understand why my father was killed?”</p>
<p><em>Well, that was unexpected. </em>You contemplated the dives and soaring arcs of a few birds before answering. </p>
<p>“I suppose it was when you joined the military. My father wouldn’t allow me to attend your father’s funeral, and I stayed in mourning for a year, maybe longer.” The river slowly darkened, the birds in the sky making their way to their nests.</p>
<p>“When I next heard about you, you were off in Wall Rose, training. I wanted to understand why you left, so I began to ask my father’s associates about their children that had joined the Training Corps. Some parents were willing to talk to me about their children’s stated desires, or their intended outcomes for them… but none of them would acknowledge you. The mention of your name would frustrate them, anger them. It seemed strange to me that you, a boy they couldn’t possibly have known, would have been such a note of contention in conversation with every single high-status family I spoke to in Mitras.” The sun dipped below the ridge of the wall, the sudden vanishing of its rays leaving behind a chill.</p>
<p>“I still had the book your father gave me the day he was killed, and I had kept it hidden out of a selfish desire to keep him close to me… I suppose by keeping it hidden I unwittingly saved myself from being banished or killed as well.”</p>
<p>Erwin looked at you wistfully, nodding slightly for you to continue.</p>
<p>“That book had all the things you spoke of with your fellow trainees, some of which was getting back to the nobility. Not the mind-control and erasing of memories, mind,” you side-eyed him, “but the stuff about the outside world. Things that were never supposed to be taught.”</p>
<p>Shaking your head, you sighed. “You know, if your father hadn’t died… I would have followed in his footsteps...” Now you were the one with the wistful face. <em>Ugh, this is so trite. Time to press the subject.</em></p>
<p>Erwin was looking at the sky as you moved towards him. Reaching out for his open collar, his eyes met your right hand and trailed up your arm to your neck, his own hand reaching out for your face. You softly touched his neck just inside the fabric, letting your fingertips dance down the ridge of muscle leading to his collar bone. His fingers slid past your temple to gather your hair behind your ear and cup the nape of your neck. You smiled softly, closing the distance until less than a foot remained between you, your hand resting on his chest, fingertips pressing lightly on his skin. His eyes searched yours, both of you suspended in time by the tenuous threads of touch.</p>
<p>“It feels like I haven’t seen you in such a long time, Erwin, though it was only a few weeks ago.” Your mind wandered through scenes from the past few years; the appeals for your talents, the lurid moments where the tension of his touch threatened to rip your body and soul into countless divine pieces. <em>After all that time…</em> “What better time than now to bear it all, on the brink of your extinction from this world?”</p>
<p>He winced slightly.</p>
<p>“You were listening in.” You rolled your eyes and nodded. <em>No shit.</em></p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t I? That door isn’t very sturdy.” Your mind jumped to the grey-eyed captain, and your heart beat a little faster. “Oh, that reminds me… before you die, I want to know some things. Information that I would likely be unable to gather without you.”</p>
<p>Erwin’s head tilted inquisitively to the side, his brow furrowing. <em>Hmm… how will he take this?</em></p>
<p>“I want you to tell me everything about Levi.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dusk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As she learns more about Levi, she recalls the night that she brought Levi irrevocably into Erwin's plans.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I want you to tell me everything about Levi.</em>
</p>
<p>Erwin’s face registered slight surprise, as he broke contact to lean against the desk.</p>
<p>“Well, I assume you know as much as I do –” You raised your hand to stop him.</p>
<p>“—Ah, no, <em>Commander</em>. I only know what I learned from the servants, and then what little I saw the day I led you to him and his little band of bandits. What I see of him around the capital is limited to my official duties for The Queen, and even then, I’m acting in an official capacity, just as he is. Then, of course, what information anyone can glean from the ravings of the men and women touting him as ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’. I hope to fuck that wasn’t your idea…” You cringed at him, but he seemed unbothered by the prospect that he had saddled Levi with such a weighty honorific.</p>
<p>“Where to begin…” Erwin’s hand rested on his thigh.</p>
<p>“Levi’s upbringing was entirely underground, mostly in a whorehouse where he nearly starved to death. As I understand, the now-dead captain of the elusive and vicious Anti-Personnel Control Squad, Kenny Ackerman, was his uncle. He was nothing more than a transitory presence. Levi’s skills are, tragically, thanks in large part to the harsh rearing Kenny dolled out. He doesn’t say much about that time, but having heard reports of the way Kenny fought, one can make a clear connection.”</p>
<p>You studied Erwin’s face, looking for any trace of emotion regarding his prized warrior’s hardship. <em>Nothing. Fucking astounding… </em>Erwin continued.</p>
<p>“His training, officially, lasted the better part of seven months, before his first expedition beyond the walls. This would have been around the time you were doing your work to destabilize Lobov’s hold on the House of Peers, and the expedition was relatively successful; we were able to establish the efficacy of the long-distance scouting formation, and I was assured that Levi was truly exceptional.”</p>
<p><em>At what cost, though. </em>Almost as though he had heard your judgment of him, his eyes betrayed a deep sorrow as he spoke again.</p>
<p>“The two people you’d seen him with would be devoured by titans on that mission. The first time they had left the walls, they felled a titan together… only to die the next day while Levi was trying to find me to kill me –” <em>Hmmm, relatable “</em>- triggering a nearly suicidal abandon that resulted in five titan kills within the span of a few minutes.” You flinched slightly at those numbers. Five? In <em>minutes?!</em> No wonder the Captain made your blood course faster. Erwin went on.</p>
<p>“Those losses simultaneous broke and emboldened him, and he would lose many more comrades in the Survey Corps. He’s one of the few Soldiers I would trust with making a difficult decision in battle, as he understands the stakes. Including the decision to save a life by damning it –” Erwin stopped short of saying something else, then he looked up. You had pursed your lips and narrowed your eyes, nodding your head in understanding.</p>
<p>“So, he’s the brooding, moody type, huh?” Erwin’s pained look was so subtle, you might have missed it if you didn’t know him so well. “Ok, ok, I get it. His life has been terrifying and tragic from birth, and he’d gone such a long time in that shithole city that the respite of the Corps must have challenged quite a lot of his preconceived notions about the world… and himself, I’ll wager.”</p>
<p>Erwin nodded. You stilled in contemplation. What would happen to him when Erwin died? It was a certainty at this juncture. Erwin was careening towards the end, having exhausted all avenues of escape from this obligatory façade he had built. If Erwin had been so open about the willingness to expend Levi’s and other’s lives for his selfish desire, how could Levi simply accept it and <em>trust</em> this bastard? <em>People are the more intricate secret in this world, Erwin. You’ve never understood that. </em></p>
<p>“Where will he be tonight? I might want to have a chat with him. You know, to properly introduce myself to him, considering <em>I’m</em> the reason he’s in this mess.” Your eyes were dark, staring hard at him and willing him to remember the night you’d thrown Levi into Erwin’s machinations.</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>She had changed into tight slacks and a button-down shirt, strapping her knife to the outside of her thigh now, and sporting a second double-banded knife holster on the opposite thigh. Her supple leather boots were well-worn, and the black jacket fit snuggle around her ribcage. Erwin felt a thunderclap when she’d trapsed down the steps; she was exceptionally attractive in her pseudo-military outfit. As he instructed the carriage driver, [Y/n] whisked herself into the carriage as she pulled her dark cloak over her shoulders. Her [h/c] hair was pulled high on her head in a neat bun, but in her hurry a few tresses had been pulled down around her face. Erwin’s excitement for the knowledge [Y/n] possessed was palpable as the carriage raced down the darkening streets.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Well, well, he does have a pulse. Look at those cheeks!” she teased.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Erwin’s cheeks were indeed slightly pink, and he smiled contentedly. The dying light outside of the windows softened their features; [Y/n]’s [e/c] eyes were like deep water, the light dancing across the surface of the iris, as Erwin’s blue eyes sparkled. They locked eyes, the heightened atmosphere of the chase eliciting bright sparks in the otherwise deep dark of the carriage. A sharp jolt sent them both a few inches off their seats; [Y/n] laughed heartily and craned her neck to howl as Erwin chuckled looking out the window. The momentary flash of his teeth as he laughed sent a shiver through her; she had always found eyeteeth mesmerizing, and his full smile was rare. She didn’t stop herself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Hey, you.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Her hand had already closed the distance and grasped his jacket collar, her fiery expression burning into his mind as she pulled him across the space between them onto his knees. Her thighs clamped around him, her ankles crossed behind him as she felt his arms instinctively circle her waist. Her hand at the base of his skull, she closed her eyes as her lips parted and pressed against his, her tongue hungrily pushing his lips apart to search for its counterpart in his mouth. Erwin’s body surged forward into hers as he registered the heat on his abdomen, her legs pulling him closer to her now swollen vulva. His hands clawed her back as his kiss moved from her mouth to her neck. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>She wore a strong cologne, nothing at all feminine, reminiscent of a peculiar tree they had found together in one of the woods they would roam as children, the thick dark pool in its eviscerated trunk pungent and somewhat malodourous. The childhood memory was a happy one, fueling his exploration of her neck and collarbone. She sighed as she kissed his forehead, wishing they could fuck right then; she knew that they would be picking up his companion soon, though. She groaned as his hands left her back to unbutton one, two, three buttons on her blouse. Erwin’s eyes met hers, no longer placid but full of an almost violent will to devour her. [Y/n]’s face transformed into a pained expression of desire, grabbing his shoulders and moaning as she forced him back to kiss him, aggressively pummeling his lips with hers. If anyone was going to feast, it would be her... but not right now. She pulled back, placing a finger on his lips.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“We’re picking up your companion, yes?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Erwin’s face contorted, a mask of contempt blazing across it like a flashfire before dissipating into his usual stoicism. He planted his hands on either side of [Y/n], pushing himself up into a bent position as he looked down her still unbuttoned shirt. His hand rose to her chin, tilting her head back slightly to lock eyes before he slowly kissed her, his tongue making one final caress of her own before tracing the inside of her top lip as he pulled away. His eyes relaxed as he sank into the seat across from her. She was panting slightly as she buttoned her shirt, her core squeezing with pleasure as she marked the thick shaft of his cock outlined against the form-fitting uniform trousers.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hahh, perhaps you should think sobering thoughts. Otherwise, your companion will know quite clearly that …” She gestured between them as if to say, ‘you know’, as Erwin’s hands calmly covered the mass between his legs. The carriage slowed, and another blond man, taller than Erwin, opened the carriage door. He passed Erwin a set of the maneuver gear they relied on, his own in the other hand. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Mike.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Erwin”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>[Y/n].”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Both Mike and Erwin looked at her blankly as she shrugged, grinning widely. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Well, no one else was available, so…” At that, Mike elected to sit next to her, leaning over her and inhaling deeply. His eyes lit up, and she shot a confused look at Erwin. He simply looked out the window as Mike nodded and settled into his seat.</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  
  <em>The entrance to the underground city was dark and gaping, like a cave in which one could fall into a bottomless pit. [Y/n] steeled herself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Ok. Ok. OK. … ok, let’s go.” She strode towards the entrance with a somewhat belligerent air. Mike and Erwin followed closely behind, their heads on a swivel for possible attacks from the shadows. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>The stairs were narrow, and although the passage seemed completely dark from the outside, small lamps of a pale glowing substance lit the path as it twisted down and down and down. [Y/n], after the heat of the carriage, was sweating herself cold. Her heart hammered in her chest, threatening to take her lungs out as well. She was concentrating desperately on her breathing, pulling air through her nose as she slowly pressed it out through her mouth. She knew that she wasn’t in any actual danger – at least not from the space. There would be PLENTY of danger waiting for her in the underground. She felt the brisk gush of cool air every so often, knowing that there were vents throughout the passages into the underground, and during the day they would have been filtering sunlight into the cramped space. She turned to her traveling companions, partly to warn them and partly to distract herself.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“We’re almost there. Fair warning, it’s foul.” As if on cue, a blast of warmer air hit them all head-on, the stench of waste and decay following closely behind. A final corner turned and the dank underground, its diffuse yellow light glowing like a lake of fire, opened up before them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Welcome to hell.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Mike and Erwin scanned the cavernous city, its vastness contrasting with the large pillars reaching the cave roof overhead. A dark river traversed by various bridges meandered through the middle of the city, either end disappearing through wide arches. The buildings directly below the widening staircase had a narrow alley behind them, and as the three descended they heard the unmistakable noises of various unspeakable acts; the rhythmic slapping sound of skin, the whimpers of fear, a strangled cry followed closely by the wet splat of blood. Mike reached for the holster of his gear, intending to intervene, but [Y/n]’s hand snatched his wrist.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“No. That’s not why you two are here, leave it.” Her eyes were cold and hard, and he grit his teeth but lowered his hand.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>As they entered the wide path along the river, the disturbing sounds faded away, replaced by the sounds of the night market. Stalls with sad-looking food and vendors next to shady tents with curls of smoke escaping through the gauzy material marking the entrances dotted the length of the river on both sides. Men and women in various states of health and clothing were talking and arguing, menacing weaker individuals with brute force or laying listless along the walls; all of these sites didn’t faze her one bit as she cleared a path, Mike and Erwin following in her wake. Her hood was down, and she had put a few feet between them when a hand shot out from a group as she passed. The meaty fist closed violently around the cloak and the shirt underneath, popping off a button as its owner yanked her into the center of the group. Mike growled and moved quickly forward, but Erwin’s hand gripped his arm.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Wait. Watch.” His words were calm and confident, watching curiously at the unfolding scene. [Y/n]’s unbothered face was just visible between the thick shoulders of the men circling her, the clenched fist under her chin white-knuckling in rage. The man restraining her barked out a laugh.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Well, look what the cat dragged down! More like the bitch… what are you doing here, milady? I told you what would happen if you came back; is that why you brought bodyguards?” Her eyes, bored, maintained eye contact with her attacker, her fingers coming into view as she laid her hand gently over the back of his wrist; she seemed exceedingly small in comparison. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Gerald, I’m shocked. I would have thought you would be pleased to see me. I got rid of the competition for your disgusting trade for you, as you were clearly struggling to handle your business yourself.” Gerald’s face purpled in anger as he lifted her off the ground. Her hand tightened on his wrist, her teeth bared as she hung from his arm and kicked her heel up into his jaw; her free hand pulled the knife from the thigh and slashed through his thick forearm with incredible force, deep enough to severe the muscles and tendons and expose the bone. As his hand released its grip, her hand didn’t. She planted the same foot hard into his stomach, bringing him to his knees as she twisted his mangled arm away from her. Her knife pressing into his throat, she hissed into his face.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“I don’t think you want to know how I dispatched that wretched, filthy slug, but I’ll give you an idea of what I’m going to do to you,” she replaced the knife with her foot, twisting the sole of her boot up onto his face, “so that your nightmares are accurate.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>T</em>
  <em>he blood from his wound had completely soaked the fabric of her pants and she dug the tip of the knife into the flesh, extending her leg and straightening his arm as the sharp blade opened the entirety of the forearm. His blood curdling scream was cut short by one of his men, a burly black-haired monster, as a rag was shoved into his gaping mouth. The blood, bright red and thick, showered her chest and the men around her as she dropped the useless arm, kicking his face once more before stepping back from him. She looked down at her clothing, her nostrils flaring and lips pursing in annoyed acceptance at the disgusting state of them. She turned her attention to the man now tying a blindfold around Gerald’s eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Good work, Martel. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more warning, but… would you believe me if I told you I hadn’t planned to come tonight?” Martel smiled, a strangely genuine smile that signaled relief and amazement. He pointed to two other men, who seemed bewildered but compliant, and then to Gerald.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Get him to the holding house. Treat him; don’t let him die.” They nodded and each took one of Gerald’s arms over their shoulders, disappearing into the darkness of an alley. Martel turned back to [Y/n], and then to Erwin and Mike as they approached. Without inquiry, he simply nodded to them before addressing [Y/n].</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“When will you be by to deal with him?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Likely tomorrow or the day after; it depends how this,” she motioned towards Erwin, “goes.” Martel nodded again, looking around the group of men. They dispersed into the shadows, the dark patches of blood on [Y/n]’s clothing and the ground the only evidence left of the violent altercation. She pulled a rag from a flat pocket on the seat of her pants, wiping down her knife and inspecting it in the light of small lamp, sheathing it once she was satisfied. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Let’s continue, shall we?” She turned towards the river, Mike watching her closely.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“What about your clothes?” His brows were furrowed as she turned to him, nonplussed but dead-eyed.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Look around. Everything down here is covered in some manner of filth. I fit in better this way. At least no one will bother us. They’ll be too scared… although you both should have brought some fucking cloaks,” she grumbled as she turned back to the river. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Their walk took them through a warren of small residential streets, cramped and noisy bordello alleys and a bustling main avenue littered with more stalls and bars, people filtering through the wide arching tunnel that led to the royal city. [Y/n] walked up to a woman at a produce stall along one wall. She smiled broadly as the woman’s eyes widened in horror at her blood-spattered appearance; [Y/n] signaled behind her for Mike and Erwin to standby.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“Good evening Madam; I’m hoping that you could point me in the right direction.” The woman’s face was stiff with fear, but she nodded abruptly. “Oh, lovely. I’ve heard some interesting information about a band of exceptionally talented kids from the underground showcasing some impressive skills. Criminally impressive, some might say. Would you know what I’m talking about?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The woman’s eyes began to water, and she looked around her frantically. She took a few halting breaths before bowing her head towards [Y/n] to whisper. “There’s a group of kids that used to be… I don’t know if this is true, but they used to be aligned with one of the … one of the larger groups down here. I don’t know where they are though,” the woman’s eyes were practically bulging out of her skull, and [Y/N] tsked.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Now, I don’t think that’s the whole truth.” She fingered the knife for a moment, before she reached for her pouch. Pulling a few silver coins from it, she pointed behind the woman to a bushel of pitiful apples. “I’m going to buy that bag of fruit, and when you hand it to me, you’re going to give me a name and a general location, or this night will go poorly for both of us.” The woman whimpered in response, accepting the coins and shakily grabbing the bag.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“The black-haired man’s name is Levi. He travels around the city with a girl and a tall handsome boy. He looks young, but he’s at least ten years older than his companions. They typically use this route to go above, but I swear I don’t know anything else. Please.” Her eyes met [Y/n]’</em> <em>s, pleading. [Y/n]’s eyes stared coldly back, contemplating the woman before her. There was certainly very little threat posed by the woman, and from what she had heard about the kids with the vertical maneuver gear, they weren’t necessarily petty criminals nor were they bullies.</em></p>
<p>
  
  <em>Satisfied, she accepted the bag of apples with a smile. As she turned, she saw her targets; a tall blond boy (indeed handsome), a spunky-looking redheaded girl and a short man with a black undercut and intense eyes. All three were wearing cloaks, and she could see the leather straps of the maneuver gear’s harness on their legs and torsos when the breeze picked up the edges of the cloaks. She saw Mike and Erwin on the other side of the avenue, and she locked eyes with Erwin, slowly shaking her head to indicate ‘do nothing’.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>The three were on a collision course with another trio of rough-looking men. The small one, Levi, knocked shoulders with one, who promptly cried out in pain and demanded restitution. Levi ignored him, continuing his pace forward. When the brute pulled a pistol out, the click of the hammer stopped the cloaked gang; Levi turned like lightening, the sound of a piston followed by a cable shooting through a stack of barrels behind the man with the gun so fast that [Y/n]’s heart stopped for a moment. Levi’s face never changed, the slightly bored and bothered mask belying the ferocity of his movements; as soon as he had fired the cable into the barrels, he’d surged forward as a second cable shot towards the ceiling. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Before the man could regain his composure, Levi was soaring high overhead as a futile shot rang out, touching lightly off the arched roof before falling towards the man, who had been too slow, unable to comprehend what had happened as Levi’s booted foot planted in the man’s chest. A sickening crunch echoed as the man’s sternum collapsed. The other two men had been stupefied by Levi, making them easy to take down by his companions.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>[Y/n] tore her eyes from Levi to find Erwin’s face, intending to rally him to the other side of the avenue, but she faltered. He had been watching the three criminals take flight, and as he had done so he had locked eyes with Levi. What she saw was a strange mix of emotions written loudly on his features. The same hungry look with which he had looked at her in their earlier moments of desire had a cool satisfaction interlaced with it. The expression made her stomach turn and her core clench, in a twisted and wanton way, and she wanted simultaneously to rip Levi apart in rage as she tore Erwin’s clothes off in passion. The heat rising in her chest, she strode across the avenue, murderous intent in her eyes as she followed Levi’s movements. Mike watched her warily, unsure what was to transpire next as she closed the distance. Erwin was watching their fading forms, the hungry look giving over to unseeing calculating eyes. She grabbed his collar and jerked it once.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>“You’ve seen what you need to see, yes? Let’s get the hell out of here. There’s another way, I have a carriage waiting.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
  <em>Erwin turned to see her cloak flap indignantly behind her, Mike following closely behind, and his legs moved of their own accord. He’d found something new, something possibly powerful. If only he could find a way to bring it into the light of day and test it. His pace quickened; a new hand was ready for deliberation. [Y/n]’s eyes flashed as she turned to make sure he was following, and their eyes met. She saw determination and a small smile on his face, and her lip curled. His heartbeat accelerated remembering the way in which she had handled the absolute mountain of a man who threatened her, with the same professional brutality Levi had used. The blood in his body ran hot, the thickness between his legs increasing as he thought of the carriage ride; he would need to explore her more thoroughly as repayment. Exploring and exploiting people’s talents was one of his specialties, after all. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I swear, the more I write these chapters, the more editing I do before posting. This chapter was ACTUALLY written ten days ago, but it was far from finished. </p>
<p>For a little insight on my process, which is probably quite similar to other authors, I will write as it comes to me and then dive into the chapter or section and play it out in my mind; does this make sense? Would this character realistically say/do this? If it feels forced, or out of character (even for my own original characters) I'll keep tweaking it. So... it'll take a while heh heh. I hope you enjoyed the second chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Twilight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As a confession to Levi seemingly absolves her, a request of desperation leads to further turmoil.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>According to Erwin, the troops would be celebrating in one of the mess halls with meat, a fairly scarce commodity anywhere within the walls.</p><p>As you walked along the wide avenue, you could already hear the ruckus; loud shouts and the clatter of silverware, the scraping of wood on stone indicating what could have been a battle in the long building on the left. <em>This must be one hell of a show, how shall I get in?  </em>You considered walking in the front door, but the possibility of being questioned sounded tiresome. The second-floor balcony was empty; unsheathing both knives, you ascended the support beam, your tunic rustling in a stray breeze. </p><p>Lightly swinging over the railing, you walked towards the dark side of the building, staying close to the edge so as to avoid any eyes straying to the second floor. Finding an unlatched door to a dark staircase, you entered cautiously, pausing to listen for movement before heading down into the central kitchens. The smell of food and soap clashed unpleasantly as you peered around the frame but seeing no one in the vicinity you turned the corner and strode calmly into the mess.</p><p>No one had noticed you when you entered, as two young men had captivated the entire hall, providing a distraction from the frenzy. One you recognized from the military tribunal as the boy wonder Eren Jaeger, the Titan shifter. Sidling up to the tankards of drink, you grabbed a stein and tapped the barrel as you continued to observe the ever-more ridiculous fight. From the looks of it, no one had expected the fight to last very long, as both their faces transfigured from blood-thirsty excitement to pained desperation. You chuckled to yourself as you took a swig. <em>Surprisingly not bad. Though mead seems to be a bit rich for this night... perhaps there really is no hope for these children. </em></p><p>Levi strode in suddenly from the same doorway you had, his face the same indiscernible mask of apathy. You slipped back behind a few large sets of shoulders as you watched him swiftly break the fight apart, sending both combatants hurtling through the air. Sick splattered from the taller of the two as he landed.</p><p>"All of you. You're being too rowdy. Go to bed. And clean that up." </p><p>Bodies that had been stupefied by both the fight and Levi's summary settlement of it began bustling about, adjusting tables and chairs and bringing buckets of water and rags. Levi moved towards you, his eyes slowly sweeping his subordinates to ensure their compliance. Moving with the large shoulders, you watched as he grabbed a stein of his own and topped it off, making a beeline for the kitchen entrance. <em>Where are you going with that drink, Captain...? </em></p><p>You waited a few moments before deciding to follow him, but the boy-wonder and his two friends caught your attention. They seemed to be heading for the kitchens as well but then turned towards the door to the side porch just off the entrance, possibly to give Eren some fresh air.</p><p>Not wanting to draw the attention of Hange or the other squad leaders, you gingerly shadowed various soldiers to the kitchen entrance, swiftly ducking into the heat; Levi had slipped through another doorway into the darkened section on the opposite side. Through the open windows on the left you could see the threesome limping to a set of steps.  </p><p>"... I ought to take better care of my own body." Eren's voice floated in as you watched him and his friends.</p><p>"Why? I hung back because I knew you'd heal right away anyway." The blond one gently lowered Eren to the top step as the girl adjusted a tattered scarf around her neck.<em> Armin… that blond one must be Armin…</em></p><p>"I can't believe you..." Eren's voice sounded shocked.</p><p>"You're the one who started it," the girl said as she matter-of-factly flipped the end of the scarf around her neck before sitting out of sight. <em>That's right, sweetheart! Tell him like it is.</em></p><p>You continued across the kitchen, quietly passing the threshold of the doorway. The space on the other side was somewhat different from the mess hall you had just left, slightly more elegant and intimate, likely the officer’s mess. A single candle sat burning on a table near the wider entrance to the same alley where the trio sat, a small plate of half-eaten meat and bread and a teacup seemingly forgotten. The voices of the kids were loud in the doorway, now that the din of the crowded mess was so far off. You made your way silently to the sound, steadying the drink in your hand.</p><p>“…Whether I’m energetic or not, I plan on doing what needs to be done. But, yeah… I feel better. I was so caught up in pointless worrying.” Eren’s voice sounded thin, exhausted.</p><p>“…Like why I wasn’t strong like you, Mikasa. I was jealous. I felt useless because I couldn’t be like you or Captain Levi.” You felt a pang in your chest at his words. There was always this aggravating sense of <em>helplessness</em> since you had learned the truth of your mentor’s murder; as though, no matter how strong you were, or deadly or smart, you were trapped in a prison that was built just for you, to remind you that you would never be free. You listened as Eren continued.</p><p>“But neither you nor the Captain can fight by yourselves, which is why we all need to find our own roles. Great power comes from joining ourselves together.”</p><p>A cold trickle of dread slipped down your spine. He sounded like Erwin, even in his fatigue. Whether that was from the former’s influence or his own charisma, you weren’t sure, <em>he’s only been with Erwin for a few months, this is surely his own resolve, </em>but there was something portentous about his words. They excited you, preoccupied you, made you believe that there was a larger framework into which you could pour yourself with a purpose, and that scared you.</p><p>You were so distracted by your thoughts that it was a full minute before you realized there was a shadow in the entrance. A short, discreet shadow. You watched him soundlessly cross the opening, turn his back to the voices and set his flagon on the ground delicately. Eren’s voice found its way back into your consciousness.</p><p>“…Still, some things are gone forever. And they’ll have to pay for that.”</p><p>Levi’s face darkened with sadness, his eyes suffused with mourning. Quiet sounds of assent issued from the trio. You could feel the settling of a heavy curtain around all of you in the moments before Armin broke the silence.</p><p>“That’s not all.”</p><p>A tiny spark of interest flickered to life as Levi turned his head towards the quiet, steady voice.</p><p>“The sea. Remember? A giant lake filled with so much salt water the merchants could never collect it all. The titans aren’t the only things outside the walls. Burning sands. Land made of ice. Snowy plains of sand. I joined the Survey Corps so I could see all of that.”</p><p>Your eyes widened, your heart pounding so hard and so fervently in your chest that you were certain your presence would no longer be a secret to anyone. The images his words inspired exploded in your mind, making your spirit burn like white phosphorus; hot and bright and keen. The book, the one you cherished above even the tools strapped to your legs, spoke of all those things and more. A world of endless geological marvels, seas of grasses and flowers and trees like nothing you could have imagined in your wildest dreams; that boy knew of the world beyond the walls. The world that was. You felt a sob and a moan fighting for their place in your throat, and your distress pulled at the corners of your mouth as you grit your teeth against the urge to do either. His voice broke through your struggle for control with bounding enthusiasm.</p><p>“So let’s start by going to the sea! Saltwater that stretches all the way to the horizon! There are even species of fish that you can only find there! You still don’t believe me, do you?! I swear it’s there! You just wait!” His happiness tore the curtain away, its effect restorative. Eren’s shoulders relaxed.</p><p>“Oh, fine. Then I guess I’ll just have to see it for myself.”</p><p><em>Maybe I should see it, too. What do you think Captain… </em>Levi was sitting, as though the revelation of a world beyond the walls like Armin described had literally floored him. Your heart, which had been a frenzy of emotions, stilled as you contemplated the look of him. With his arms draped over either knee and his eyes cast down and far off, he looked lost, but not particularly bothered about it. The trio had gathered themselves from the steps, dusting their seats as they made their way towards the main avenue; Levi casually took a drink from the stein next to him. You stepped forward into the light of the doorway as you took a sip from your own. He looked up.</p><p>“Evening, Captain. May I join you?”</p><p>He considered you for a moment as you waited patiently for his answer. He scanned your face, his eyes moving dispassionately down your pale linen tunic, the tight dark pants and the knives strapped to your thighs. Shrugging, he looked away and you lowered yourself down the wall directly opposite him. He took another drink before looking at you again.</p><p>“Who told you where I was?” His words had no malice, but you detected a note of circumspection in his voice, as though he was deciding how to handle you. You cocked an eyebrow, debating how to approach the conversation you wanted to have. You’d had a plan, one that would have been fun for you and possibly painful for Levi. After the bittersweet reminder of all the other paths in the world that you could take, you had lost the taste for a fight. <em>The truth will suffice.</em></p><p>“Erwin. Why do I have the feeling that you … expected this?” Your eyes narrowed, cocking your head as your lips parted in anticipation of a response. He rested his head on the wall behind him, looking down his nose at you. The entirety of his neck and collarbone was laid bare. <em>Ahh, now that’s a delicious sight.</em></p><p>“I know your type. Rich, entitled, pampered. No idea how you secured the position that you did, but I have my suspicions. People like me are tools for people like you. It was only a matter of time. Boredom is the harbinger of folly, I suppose.” His upper lip quivered in a snarl. Did he think you were propositioning him? Your incredulous eyes sparkled as you laughed, astonished. Levi cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>“Oh, <em>Levi</em>, what do you think I want from you? Do you really think so little of me from our interactions?” His eyes flitted across your knees, resting for a moment on the stein between your legs before looking away. “For your information, I didn’t fuck Dot Pixis for the job, or the Queen, although I suppose it would be an easier and more enjoyable commission if I could.” He smirked, shaking his head slightly as you continued.</p><p>“I was chosen based on Erwin’s recommendation to Dot, who then recommended me to Her Grace. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. I avoided persecution as a member of the aristocracy, and Her Majesty gained a guard dog on par with your late uncle. Except that my morals are undoubtedly more refined than his.” You chuckled to yourself before taking a long pull of mead. “So, tell me directly, what were you expecting me to say?” Your mirth seemed to aggravate him slightly.</p><p>“I suppose I expected you to try to seduce me for a kick.” You made a face as if to indicate that the idea intrigued you, grinning; he took a drink, bristling as he looked away.</p><p>Your eyes were glistening as you stood up, offering your hand to him. He looked at it and stood unassisted, still wary of you. You motioned for him to follow you as you led him back to the table where his dinner lay cold, grabbing the single candle and carrying it to a larger candelabra on a separate table. Lighting the candles, you turned to him and pulled a chair out.</p><p>“Please, sit with me. We have business to discuss. I promise to leave you unmolested when we’ve finished, if you wish.”</p><p>He tsked as he walked over and took the seat, setting his stein down in front of him and crossing his legs away from you. You pulled out the chair next to him and sat facing him, your knees falling open as you rested against the back of the chair. You looked down into your stein, which was half empty; the heat of the mead was warming you to the tips of your fingers. You set it down next to his.</p><p>“I want to know – well, I want to know <em>more of – </em>what you think you know of me.” You watched his eyes, your face relaxed and waiting. The corners of his mouth turned down in thought.</p><p>“You were chosen for a new position in the Queen’s royal court, one that hadn’t existed before. From what I understand of the Sergeant-At-Arms’ duties, you would be by her side unless she needed you to be her eyes and ears among what was left of the aristocracy, as well as I’m sure the leaders of the military. So, your closeness to Commander Pixis and Erwin seemed to put you in at least three positions of advantage, considering you were a member of the aristocracy. Your demeanor in ceremonies and meetings makes it clear that you’re familiar with the expectations of a member of the Queen’s closest circle, but tales of your exploits outside of the meeting room would make a whore blush. Though I’d heard from Hange that Erwin has known you since he was a kid, she must be mistaken; even I doubt that bastard would have been friends with a loose hellion like you.”</p><p>He stopped for a moment to make eye contact, his insults relaying his lingering distrust of, and distaste for, you as a person. <em>Talk about a flagellation ritual, for fucks sake… </em>You hummed in understanding, just barely concealing your anger.</p><p>“Interesting. Please, continue. Your tiny frame must be bursting with better jabs than that.” Your eyes flashed as the claws you had retracted earlier flexed in their sheaths. Your taste for blood was rapidly returning. He sneered, his tongue slipping across the ridge of his teeth as he continued.</p><p>“So, if the assumption is that you were… friends with him, then you must be a source of entertainment for him and Pixis. Although I consider the Commander of the Garrison to be more than competent, his behavior is well known throughout the military; a bit of a lecherous drunk, when his lieutenant isn’t hamstringing him. As far as why the Queen agreed to your appointment… She is young. She hasn’t needed to test your loyalties so far, and I trust that she is a fast learner, but … some lessons require drawing blood.”</p><p>You nodded, crossing your legs as well, your eyes on neck of the candelabra. Resentment simmered inside you. He wasn’t entirely off base with his observations. It was true that your approach to most frivolous things was fast and loose, making decisions in the heat of the moment; ‘hellion’ was a perfect description for your younger self. Erwin <em>did</em> entertain himself with you, and Dot had always been a pleasurable conversationalist and terrific chess player. There was merit in his summation of you, though he was wrong about your position in regard to Queen Historia. You would die for her, and you had already killed for her. She represented a hope for a different path, and you would protect her against any and all threats. You turned your eyes to him.</p><p>“Has Erwin ever told you how our shared childhood was intertwined with both happiness and sorrow? How he relies on me and my many talents? How I <em>entertain</em> him?” His jaw worked for a moment, and you raised your chin angrily. “Other than my commitment to the Queen, I won’t say that you’re wrong about the nature of my relationships or the rest; I’m not shy about my tastes and I won’t apologize for my actions or try to disguise them with supercilious notions of ‘the greater good’.”</p><p>His fingers idly stroked the handle of his stein, his brow slightly furrowed as he considered you. “The only thing Erwin has ever said about you was that you were the perfect fit for the Sergeant-At-Arms position. I didn’t question him about it, as it wasn’t my decision to make.”</p><p>“And you simply trust him to make such a recommendation? Everything you’ve said so far would indicate that you think I’m wholly unsuited for such a vital position.” Your brows furrowed as your face hardened. He stared across the room.</p><p>“I trust his judgement,” he stated simply. You scoffed.</p><p>“Do you say that to convince yourself? Because that’s exactly what you said earlier to his insistence that you let him die.” His eyes widened slightly, his lips parting.</p><p>“So, you make a habit of eavesdropping?”</p><p>“Yes. That’s part of the job. That’s beside the point, though. You trust him even though you’ve <em>seen </em>the indecency in him.”</p><p>His face screwed up as though to say, ‘what are we even talking about?’.</p><p>“What the fuck is this? Do you need me to <em>accept</em> you in your new role? If you’re insecure, you should resign. I don’t hold hands.” You prickled at his words.</p><p>“No, you jackass, I need you to trust me. If Erwin really is going to die -”</p><p>“As if I would let that happen -”</p><p>“He’s already decided that his dream is more important than your life; if you think he isn’t going to make it impossible to keep him alive without killing all of you, then you have no fucking clue who you’re willing to die for.”</p><p>“And you do?”</p><p>“Clearly; the man entrusted the girl that he upended the entire government to crown as queen to me. I’d say we know each other intrinsically.”</p><p>You glared at each other, baring your teeth in a silent contest. <em>This posturing is pointless.</em> Sighing, you raised your eyes to the darkness above the two of you, searching for a way back to the reason you had ensnared him in this secluded place. You closed your eyes as you pulled the conversation back.</p><p>“Aren’t you curious, though? I would have thought that, with the intense efforts you’ve put into saving the children in the underground, you would want to know more about the leader of those integral missions bringing freedom to your fellow citizens. Considering you’re such a <em>man of the people</em>. ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’, isn’t it? And yet, a woman you clearly know painfully little about was the muscle that lifted your ideals out of the darkness.” You uncrossed your legs, leaning across the distance between you, clasping your hands together and resting your forearms on your knees.</p><p>“You and I are far more alike than perhaps either of us would readily admit. Just as you came from the underground, rising like a beacon in the night, I descended into that hell for <em>years</em> to do the work you finally have the authority to orchestrate. I’ve been interweaving my presence in your world since your uncle pulled you from death’s embrace, and you would still be -” <em>No, not yet. Not until you ask me. </em>“…are you not even <em>a little</em> intrigued?”</p><p>Levi’s eyes were questioning, picking up the heavy hints you were dropping at his feet.</p><p>“Well, who the fuck are you, then?”</p><p>Your mind began to twist; this was what you had wanted, but now that it was in front of you, the way ahead was still unclear. Levi was clearly playing through some reel in the back of his mind trying to figure out if he had, in fact, known you before your introduction at the coronation. He searched your face, his stare more intense as he studied you intently, without any filters to distance himself. You had the strong desire to close the distance completely and pull him into your arms, he looked so unguarded. Sucking in air through clenched teeth, you reeled yourself back and took a long drink before responding.</p><p>“I’m the reason you were pulled into the Survey Corps with Isabel and Furlan. If I hadn’t been so good at the things that secured my commission with the Queen, you three might be flying around the capital still, stealing and eking out a survivalist life, if you didn’t land yourselves in jail… though I think you wouldn’t have been so easy to catch, so perhaps you would have ended up alone after all.”</p><p>The tension in the seconds before he spoke again was fraught, threatening to slice through the flesh.</p><p>“Why… why are you telling me this.” His voice was deadly, barely above a whisper, a fiery glint in his wide eyes. You considered his question; why had you decided to tell him this seemingly obscure detail about your connection to each other?</p><p>
  <em>Because it irrevocably changed the path he was on. </em>
</p><p>Something like a yearning deep within began to tug at your core. You recognized the feeling, as you had felt this way many times with Erwin. Whenever your bodies would meet after your missions were complete, the feeling would surface as he would disappear again. The intensity of the pull within you felt like a bruise, each time the ache forcing its way deeper.</p><p>The tugging shattered something fragile as you watched the distressed face of the man in front of you. Sadness enveloped you, your eyes dropping to the tablecloth. The swirling sensations that poured into your soul formed a word that you’d never truly understood until this moment. This was why you wanted to tell Levi.</p><p>“Regret. I regret the role I played in their deaths. If I hadn’t found you and presented you to Erwin like a prize, you would never have joined the Corps. If you’d never joined, they would undoubtedly be alive today.” You didn’t dare look at him again. His hand moved, the stein tipping back as he drained the last of his mead. He drew in a long breath.</p><p>“Regret?” The word curled out of him like a hiss.</p><p>In what felt like an immeasurably long moment, you chanced a look; Levi’s hand was on the handle of his stein, staring at its rim, his teeth clenched, and his lip curled in a snarl. His eyes flashed.</p><p>The stein in his hand came hurtling towards your face, your arms flying up to block it as a painful impact to your ribs sent you crashing to the ground. As fast as he had put you on your back, he was on top of you, the brutal pressure of his hand on your thigh as he tore the knife from its sheath bruising the flesh. You hastily dragged yourself back, your tunic catching under you and halting your escape as it tightened around your neck; Levi was matching your movements.</p><p>“Regret? You want to regret their deaths without knowing how the fuck they died? Let me fill you in: when I returned from trying to kill Erwin I saw Furlan in the hands of one of them, <em>smiling</em> in defeat as it bit through his torso –” Levi punched the handle of the blade into your stomach, knocking the air out of you –“so I sliced its belly open from groin to sternum –” the handle ripped up your abs, pulling the tunic with it and revealing an intricate undergarment wrapped around your breasts – “to pull Furlan out; and wouldn’t you know it, you can’t survive your guts falling out of an empty fucking space below your navel. I cut every last one of those titan’s napes –” His free hand twisted itself into the hair on the back of your head, hoisting your face closer to his – “until the steam and the rain were indistinguishable. I haven’t told you <em>the best part </em>–” he pressed the back of the blade to your neck, the tip piercing the flesh below your ear – “I almost tripped over Isabel’s wide-eyed head because <em>that’s all those fucking bastards left of her.</em>”</p><p>Levi’s eyes were wild and fierce, boring into your own as his hand tightened in your hair. His breathing was ragged, the blade against your throat so firm that your cheek began to tingle. You were, in spite of yourself, excited and slightly terrified at the prospect of him slitting your throat right there on the floor. <em>What the fuck is wrong with me.</em> You held your breath as he grit his teeth, bracing for whatever blow was coming next as you searched his face. Tears began to blur the fearsome sight.</p><p>His eyes softened somewhat, as though the fire behind them had burned down to embers. The pressure in your hair and on your neck subsided as his arms relaxed. He looked down at your exposed torso, the delicate folds of the undergarment framing your core as they crossed each other into your pants. He let loose a heavy sigh.</p><p>“In a way… I suppose thanks are in order.” He dropped the knife and pulled his hand back. He had jammed his leg between yours to trap your hip, and now he bent his outside leg into a kneeling position, sitting back on your thigh with an uncomfortable weight. You winced.</p><p>“If you hadn’t put us in a position to leave that shitty place, they would never have seen the sky outside the walls. Yes… I lost them. I’ve lost so many people. So many…” The far away and lost look returned to his face. “…but even though they’re gone, I’m still able to see the sky. That’s what you ultimately did, even if you didn’t account for it.”</p><p>You pushed yourself into a sitting position, your faces so close you could feel his breath and attempted to push him off your leg to no avail. <em>Thanks? This man is insane… I confess that I as good as fed his friends to titans, and he says he should thank me?</em> Looking him squarely in the eye, you spoke.</p><p>“Then repay me.”</p><p>His eyes narrowed with disgust. You didn’t hesitate.</p><p>“You say I’m the one to thank for your freedom, right? I know there’s a decision you have to make, at some point, concerning life and death. I’m right, aren’t I?” The feeling in your chest was strange and new. Desperation mixed with something else… Flashes of the conversation he and Erwin had, coupled with your own suspicions of Erwin’s reluctance to tell you the extent of the danger posed by this mission to retake Wall Maria, and that thing that Erwin didn’t say… <em>Wasn’t it something about saving a life by damning it?</em></p><p>“I don’t know what you’re –” Levi began.</p><p>“Save it for your subordinates, I’m no tenderfoot. I may not have known all the details of the coup, but I know there were some elements of near magic found in those caverns. Erwin let slip just how much faith he has in your decision-making abilities, so much so that he left you to decide whose life to save, even if it meant damning the person in the process. So that must mean you have a way to bring someone back to vitality from the brink of death, right? As a shifter, like Eren. It makes sense, considering all the other shifters and the powers the royal family apparently have.” Your eyes were bright, your cheeks flushed. The candles burning on the table silhouetted Levi’s form as he stood, darkening his face so that you could no longer read his expressions. He began to turn, but your hand shot out for his clothing, grasping the hem of his shirt and the waist of his pants at once and holding firm. He stopped.</p><p>“You have a choice to make. Everything up to this point should tell you to make a decision for the good of humanity. Erwin is the good of humanity, or at least… as you said, he’s the best we have. But outside of that… I want you to save him. As repayment.”</p><p>He looked down at you; the candlelight bathed your face, showing him what you yourself could not see. The faintest glimmer of hope.</p><p>“You are shameless. To save one man from hundreds of soldiers. To ask me to put aside my own reasoning for your benefit. How many people must die for people like you and him?”</p><p>“I take no responsibility for the idiots that Erwin convinced to embrace the flames.”</p><p>“But you take responsibility for Isabel and Furlan.”</p><p>You nodded. “And you,” you added. Levi smacked your hand away.</p><p>You stood, your fists clenched and your heart squeezing in your chest. You knew you were shameless, with no intention of justifying your selfish request. Levi’s back was turned to you, his hands on the table as though he was thinking. You were like a wire pulled to its absolute threshold of tension, waiting for release. You were forcing him to take your fate in his hands, whether or not either of you realized it. He turned his head to look over his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you love him?”</p><p>It was as though a great set of shears had cut through a thread inside you. Your body felt hot as you trembled at the thought. Love wasn’t something you ever discussed with anyone. You felt loyalty, lust, excitement, rage, apathy. These were well-worn paths in your heart. You never considered what you felt for Erwin to be love, but that wasn’t necessarily because you didn’t love him. You just never understood what love actually was. Levi turned to face you. You swallowed.</p><p>“Did you love them?”</p><p>His eyes were heartbreaking. You felt your own memories of the times you’d spent in Erwin’s company surfacing, the laughter, frustration and understanding. The sweet embraces while wrapped in the silken sheets of your bed, the impatient hands of two people who needed each other more than air in those stolen moments. The pain of putting all those sanguine memories aside when the inevitable separation came, the possibility of your time together ending permanently demanding objectivity for the greater missions you both pursued. You wondered whether Levi’s mind was in the same place.</p><p>You stooped to retrieve the knife from the floor and saw that he had cut completely through the hardened leather sheath when he’d removed it in his fury. <em>My god.</em> You took a deep breath to steady yourself before turning towards the door to the alley. Levi’s voice stopped you.</p><p>“Where are you going?” You looked over your shoulder at him.</p><p>“Where do you think.”</p><p>His eyebrows lifted as he mouthed an <em>‘ah’ </em>in understanding. You turned towards the door, heart pumping. The night air was cool on your hot face as you began to jog, and then run, to the officers’ quarters, the tears in your eyes stinging as they threatened to fall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I worked this chapter A LOT the past few days. I'm still not sure about it, but ... there it is. I hope everyone enjoyed the pace!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Moonlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The escape from the underground 5 years prior meets a snag.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was a fun chapter to write, although perhaps it was... a little bit indulgent. heh heh. I also don't know about some of the jabs, i think she can do better... I hope you enjoy it. REALLY SLOW BUILD, it seems. </p><p>Also, I'M IN CLASS AGAIN, soooo... I will likely make posts every week to week and a half to... two weeks... Please let me know what you think of this latest chapter! I crave critici- *ahem* commentary.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The quiet in the stairway out of the underground was punctuated by the clink of the vertical maneuver gear and the fluttering of her cape as she led Erwin and Mike to the surface. The space was far less dark and confining and emptied onto a covered promenade in the fashion district of Mitras. She was depending on the darkness to cover their movements to the carriage that was waiting for them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As they entered the last length of tunnel, the figure of a man loomed halfway between them and the final turn before the exit. [Y/n] slowed for a moment, hand hovering over her weapons, until she recognized him. She turned to Mike, whose eyes were narrow with suspicion.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Watch this corner. Don’t make a sound if you smell someone coming; simply retreat to us. That man is my coachman.” He nodded, and she motioned for Erwin to follow her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As they drew closer, Erwin noted the young man’s appearance: clean clothes, ruffled blond hair and green eyes that caught the dim light, his face concerned yet calm; the face of someone accustomed to walking the edge of a knife. His hands raked through his hair as [Y/n] closed the distance, leaning close to his neck to whisper.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hans, I’m assuming there’s a good reason you’re in here.” Her eyes flitted to the woven mat on the ground, large enough for the two of them to stand a foot apart, and the sack. Hans eyes flitted to Erwin before answering.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Military Police. They came from the alley opposite the entrance, plain clothed; but it’s him. Emilia is distracting them now, but … mistress, you are filthy. It’s lucky she could pass me your clothes before they could see me leave the carriage.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Right, then; let’s make this quick. Work from the bottom, I’ll go from the top.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She unfastened her cloak and placed it in front of the sack as Hans knelt to loosen her boots, pulling them off deftly as she unbuttoned her blouse. The shirt slipped off her shoulders and Erwin saw the ripple of her muscular back, as well as the unmistakable knitted textures of scars in various places. Hans had removed the knives and was already sliding the loosened pants down her legs, Erwin’s eyes following the progress with intense fascination. Within less than a minute, she stood in simple undergarments, a binding around her breasts and a pair of white cotton briefs that Hans eyed hungrily. Erwin smirked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mistress, your undergarments are soaked in blood.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked down at him, and then herself, touching the material and inspecting the damp redness left behind on her fingertips. She nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’ll assume you were a good lad and brought those as well.” Hans smiled as he turned, puling what looked like a large leather envelope fastened with a length of twine out of the sack. Opening the parcel, the scent of lavender escaped as he removed two damp pieces of folded white cloth. Handing her one, she unfolded it and began wiping away the drying blood as he undid the binding. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wiped her breasts gently, aware that she was taking a great risk being naked like she was; it just wouldn’t do having her emerge from the underground while the captain of its enforcement squad was between her and her escape route, and even less so with blood seeping through clean clothes. She had been running through the possible scenarios while Hans disrobed her, whether she should brazenly attack and flee or misdirect and fool. There was only one viable possibility to get them all out, and it would require her faith in Erwin’s ability to improvise. She turned to Erwin and beckoned him close; leaning into his ear, she told him her plan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“There are some obstacles between us and the way out. You and Mike will have to distract Captain Josef Lang –” Erwin’s eyes flashed with recognition of the heir of the Lang Company – “while Hans and I slip through the alley and around to one of the side streets. There’s only one reason I can feign with some veracity for being in this area at night, and even Lang wouldn’t be so foolish as to interrogate a noblewoman for dalliances that pale in comparison to his own. Oh,” She turned to Hans, motioning for him to hand her another damp cloth, “wipe down your neck and hands. You need to smell like this. Lang is likely going to pass through here, and he needs to attribute this scent to you alone.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Erwin took the cloth in his hands, the scent of the oil more pungent the closer it came to his face. He looked at her bare breasts, watching Hans quickly wrap each in a light material that he secured in knots and twists with impressive speed and precision. As Erwin wiped down his neck and hands, Hans had slipped the briefs off, wiping with an oiled cloth as he went, more length of the material crisscrossing [Y/n]’s waist and hips as she turned one muscled leg out for his expert hands to pass the material over the dark mound of hair between her legs. Erwin’s blood coursed hot in his veins as he watched for a moment more, finally turning to Mike to rally him. His tall friend’s eyes were similarly spellbound by the scene that had lasted mere minutes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mistress, they should go now, we only have a short while longer before the captain will tire of Emilia’s company.” Hans’s quiet voice was enough to spur Mike into movement as Erwin handed the coachman the used cloth. She watched the two of them make their way to the last turn as Hans slipped a dark silk robe of a dress up her outstretched arm, tying inner tassels to the apparatus around her breasts and hips, and wrapping the rest of the garment by an outer tassel around her waist. The slippery coolness of the material made her shiver with pleasure, and in spite of the danger they found themselves in, she sighed gently and ran her hands over her body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hans, this is beautiful; when did you make this?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hans blushed. “Last week, Mistress. I designed it to complement the trusses underneath.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hans… when did you find the time to measure me? I haven’t commissioned a dress from you in at least a few months, and this dress is unlike any other you’ve made for me before.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His hand massaged the back of his neck as he looked at the ground; then he steeled himself and looked her in the eyes. “In your sleep. You were quite responsive to my touch, so it was rather easy.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her eyes bore into his, a placid expression hiding her slight arousal at his recklessness. She cupped his cheek with her hand, passing her thumb over his lips. They parted as he took in a shaky breath; she hooked her thumb over the ridge of his teeth and widened the opening as the heat of his exhalation warmed her skin. She smiled sweetly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Never touch me without my consent, Hans. I despise those who would prey on the vulnerable in their care.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He shuddered slightly, turning to kneel and retrieve a pair of shoes and a lace choker in a complementary hue of blue for her. As she stepped lightly off the mat, he stashed the bloody pants and undergarments in the sack and rolled up the mat. They set off to the turn, hearing the voices of Erwin and Lang as they approached.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“… we needed to investigate the possibility. There is very little initiative by the Military Police on the matter, and we cannot allow the Survey Corps missions to be delayed by common thieves. How would that reflect on us?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>The more important matter is how you were able to navigate the city and make it out in one piece; you’re not exactly in your element down there. Who were you with?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her hand shot out to stop Hans. The voices were echoing in an odd way. Erwin must have been facing the carriage, standing with his back to the entrance, meaning that Lang would be able to see any movement in the tunnel. She put her back to the wall and edged close to the corner, peaking around just enough to catch a glimpse of the scene: Lang had two other men with him, neither in their uniforms and one holding a bottle of some kind, while Emilia stood to the left of them. The moon was bright on the scene, so much so that the reflection of Erwin and Mike’s faces on the glass of the carriage windows was clear enough for her to see from the distance. She pulled Hans close.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“They’ll be able to see us moving down the last bit of the tunnel; why didn’t you tell me how bright the moon was?” She didn’t expect an answer, and he knew that. He peaked gingerly around the corner as well, catching Emilia’s eye for a moment. They heard Emilia’s tinkling voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, for goodness’s sakes, I can’t imagine how you men can talk about all this intrigue and whose mission is more important when there are cakes to be eaten! What do you say Captain? Care to treat a girl to something sweet?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Y/n] peered around the corner again to see Emilia’s plump arms thrown around Lang’s neck, her short frame standing on the tips of her toes and hanging playfully onto his shoulders as she spun him around. Pulling Hans by the arm, she cleared the last six feet and whipped around the dark corner into the alley just as the man holding the bottle turned towards the entrance, impatient to get into the underground city. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stared for a moment, having registered the movement of Hans and [Y/n], but then shook his head and looked at the bottle with a drunk smile. He grabbed Emilia by the arm and roughly pulled her off Lang.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ah, we don’t need to waste our time with a chamber maid, let’s get outta here, Cap’n.” He grabbed Lang’s shirt at the shoulder and tugged him towards the entrance. Lang brushed him off, his grey eyes boring into Erwin’s. The two men looked similar, both tall and fair, with well-ordered appearances indicating a certain assiduousness. Lang’s suspicions were yet to be satisfied.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Erwin. Perhaps we didn’t get along in our training days, but don’t think that means I underestimated you. The underground is our jurisdiction. There’s no lawful reason for you to be there, especially at this hour. There could be repercussions.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Erwin’s gaze was steadfast as he responded. “I find it peculiar that a Captain of the underground enforcement squad is more concerned with a couple of squad leaders from the Survey Corps’ movements than he is about reports of highly visible crimes being committed by underground residents with stolen maneuver gear.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lang pursed his lips slightly, his stomach feeling as though he'd missed a step and landed in a vice. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the two men's conversation had transitioned into a stalemate, [Y/n] and Hans had made their way around the back alley of the buildings to the right of the entrance. She directed him to stash the sack behind a number of large rubbish bins, resisting the urge to dig through the bloodied clothes to retrieve her treasured weapons. She stopped Hans just before they reached the street, pushing him against the bricks of the building.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hans… when we round this corner, I’m going to kiss you passionately. I want you to respond as a lover would. We’re close enough that we should catch Lang’s attention, or at the very least one of his men. When we get close enough, you will have to be the one who notices them first; that way I fulfill the role of lascivious noble taking advantage of her manservant. Can you do that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes were wide and shining, the moonlight illuminating the pure excitement all over his face. She smiled and grabbed his hand, whisking them both into the street before turning into his open arms and pulling his hand to her hip. She cupped his face to guide him in for the kiss, a twinge of excitement bubbling in her belly as his soft lips pressed against hers. ‘my, my, he has a lovely mouth’ she though as he pulled her bottom lip in to suckle it for it a moment, nipping it with his teeth before breaking the kiss. She opened her eyes to see his lusty stare, hunger and heat rising in it for more. Giggling, she held his gaze as she pulled him towards the carriage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By that point, the man with the bottle had noticed them, jabbing an elbow into Lang’s arm and pointing down the street at the two of them. Lang scoffed as he turned to [Y/n], catching Hans’s eyes and seeing a convincing look of surprise and embarrassment as he gentle dropped her hand. She looked forward, seeing the three MP’s and Emilia ahead; Erwin and Mike were still out of sight, which she had hoped would be the case.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Look who it is, Captain Lame himself – oh, excuse me, I meant ‘Lang’, I forget sometimes whether nouns or adjectives are appropriate greetings for people who bore me,” she said with a smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My Lady, this is hardly the hour for such a vile flower as yourself to be about unguarded,” Lang drawled. They glared at each other as she closed the distance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Vile flower? Interesting; and why are you here, in plain clothes, with your lieutenants? Going down to the city for a nightcap? Though that’s not quite the right word for the… activities… you enjoy the best, is it…” Her words dripped with disgust, her lip curling as she spoke. Lang’s hand moved to the hilt of a rather long dagger in his belt, which triggered Mike to move towards him. He came into her field of vision, and she looked at him with questioning eyes before Erwin finally came into view. She stopped; her mouth slightly agape as she feigned bewilderment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Erwin? Erwin… what are you doing here?” Erwin mimicked her to a lesser degree, his eyebrows lifting slightly. He smiled slowly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“According to our mutual friend, I’m breaking the law. You look lovely.” His eyes moved down the dark silk. She twirled in place with a sparkling smile. She reached back to grab Hans’s arm and pull him close.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hans made it for me. He really is a multi-talented gem among men.” She lightly combed her fingers through his hair, causing an almost imperceptible shiver to radiate through him as he grit his teeth to steady himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lang’s arms crossed as he huffed, unwilling as yet to leave and finding the exchange infuriating; he wasn’t sure that they were coordinating their responses, as they couldn’t have known they would encounter anyone on their way out of the city. Unless her eyes and ears were far wider reaching than he had suspected. He knew that Erwin couldn’t have navigated the streets of that hellhole in his Survey Corps uniform without being robbed or even killed, but the possibility that the notorious woman in front of him had been his guide in such ridiculous clothing seemed low. His lack of experience with women dulled his understanding of how intricate (or not) their dresses were; therefore, he didn’t know the speed and skill with which Hans had changed her soiled clothing. Lacking that information, he made the decision to drop the matter and continue to his intended destination; he had been outmaneuvered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“This is as tiresome as it is unbecoming. Erwin,” he paused, quieting a wave of nausea at the look of infatuation building in Erwin’s face, “I’ll drop it this time. I’ll look into the reports of thieves with maneuver gear. I trust that your information came from a reputable source, as I doubt you would make such a rash move on a gamble.” Lang’s eyes passed over the scene once more, still wary but at a disadvantage, Erwin nodding in acknowledgment as he and his men passed. Mike went to Emilia, enquiring about her arm which she had been massaging from the rough treatment she’d received.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Y/n] closed the distance between her and Erwin as Hans tended to the horses and prepared the carriage. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, Squad Leader, I assume you and your friend here will be needing a ride? I don’t think the barracks are anywhere near here, and I couldn’t let you leave when I’ve just found you.” Erwin nodded and smiled, picking up on the unspoken instruction to keep up the charade.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I would graciously accept such a kindness.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Perhaps you can tell me about your wild adventure in the underground! It sounds like it could have been dangerous.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ah, I doubt that our business in the underground, or outside the walls, is appropriate conversation for a woman of your refined and delicate composition.” He opened the door to the carriage, assisting [Y/n] and Emilia with a hand before following Mike. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once the door was shut and the carriage began moving, Emilia groaned loudly and slapped [Y/n]’s leg from across the large gap between them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I can’t believe you picked that entrance! Were you HOPING to pick a fight?! I only just got Hans out of there with that sack of his, and I had a hell of a time trying to keep Lang from barreling down the tunnel at the same speed he’d approached the carriage with! AND MY ARM!! Do you see this bruise?” She whimpered and stroked her arm, dramatically pulling faces of pain and anguish as she draped herself over Mike’s lap. He looked down at her with an amused expression, draping an arm across her belly. [Y/n] smiled as she shook her head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Be careful, Emilia, Mike might smell the lies on you.” Emilia’s shocked and offended face turned from her to Mike.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Can you smell lies?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mike chuckled. “More like I can smell changes in the surrounding environment. People in the environment respond to what’s happening and they smell different depending on the type of person they are. For example, you seem like you could really use a slice of cake with a hot cup of tea.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Emilia’s eyes sparkled. “Can I keep him?” [Y/n] laughed and turned to Erwin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Would that be acceptable? To let Mike and Emilia have some cake? While we discuss the events of the night?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Erwin took a breath and paused for a moment, looking to Mike. He grinned and nodded. Erwin turned back to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course.”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Night: Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She intrudes on Erwin's reflective time before he retires for the evening, the daunting question still lingering in her mind.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was listening to both versions of "Arcade" by Duncan Laurence on repeat while I wrote the flashbacks and the bath scene, so if you want a feel for the ambiance while writing it, stream that ish while you read the chapter. </p><p>A note on the undergarment - it's a shibari wrap. The rose and diamond combined, I think. It's supportive and covers her underwear region, and the material is a mix of silk and linen, so its breathable but soft. Entirely made up, who knows if those textiles can combine.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The carriage bumped across the dirt road, the fresh air flowing through the window drawing the little girl to stand on the seat. Her tiny hands curled around the sill as her maid kept a firm grip on the back of her dress to steady her. Her mother, in a pretty vermilion skirt and starched white tunic, gazed in the direction of the small cottage slowly coming into view around the bend of the road. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As they dismounted the carriage, the little girl saw a tall, bearded man and a little blond boy waiting for them with smiles and a small clutch of flowers. The man knelt down to greet her, tugging his son’s shirt to bring him forward with the little bouquet. She’d never seen such soft colors, as flowers in the city were meant to be showy and convey wealth; these small and humble petals were unassuming, and yet she thought they were the most wonderful things she’d ever held. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As she studied the tiny bugs crawling and flying into the bells of the flowers, the little boy watched her. His father encouraged him to talk to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you like them?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I… love them.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Do you want to see more?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked into the kind blue eyes of father and son, the man smiling warmly and the little boy’s cheeks bright with the prospect of an adventure. Her heart swelled as she nodded happily, the boy taking her hand and tugging her into a sprint for the pasture along the edge of the fence, their parents watching them for a moment before joining hands and disappearing into the cottage. </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The crunching of your boots as you ran was soft but rapid, matching the hammering pace of your heart. The scuffle with Levi had left more than handprints on you. His question unsettled a foundation you hadn’t realized you’d built your life upon, and now you needed answers. Or at least, you needed to know the answer to his question for yourself.</p><p>The door of Erwin’s quarters stood before you as you caught your breath. <em>Knock. KNOCK! </em>Your hand flew to the wood, pounding three times with your clenched fist as you fought for control over your trembling legs. A sound of a scraping chair, steady and quick footsteps coming closer to the door, and just before you thought your heart might burst the light spilled into the corridor, Erwin’s disgruntled face appearing before you. His eyes passed over your face and neck, widening at the blood trickling down your throat and the stain developing in your tunic.</p><p>“What happened to you?” He grit his teeth. You laughed wearily.</p><p>“Invite me in before you interrogate me, please, I’ve had a rough night.” Not waiting for him, you pushed him gently out of the way as he closed the door behind you.</p><p>The room was well apportioned, as would befit a commander, the large desk similar to that in the meeting room you had both shared hours earlier. A large and sturdy couch tucked in between two large bookshelves, fronted by a simple but lovely low table and a reading chair, fit well into the space. You threw yourself into the reading chair, propping your legs up on the table and closing your eyes. Erwin set what sounded like a heavy glass next to your boots; you peeked with one eye to see water.</p><p>“Really? Water? I’m bleeding, I would think that warrants something a bit stronger,” you grumbled. Erwin raised an eyebrow in disapproval, taking the seat furthest from you on the couch.</p><p>“I know you’ve already had your fill of finer drink tonight, considering the mead generously provided to the soldiers by the Reeves company. Special order, picked by Pixis himself.”</p><p><em>Ah, no wonder it was so good. </em>You rolled your head towards Erwin and saw the exasperated face of a man who’d been rudely interrupted with what sounded like an emergency, only to find their inebriated (by his standards) … whatever you were to him.</p><p><em>Do you love him? </em>The question echoed like a bell as you studied his face. Levi's pained expression flashed in your mind, the suffering wrought by your rebuttal having translated into a mask of defeated resignation. Pulling your legs back and sitting up properly, you took the water. As you drank, you felt the flush of emotion replacing what little warmth the mead had left; your eyes began to sting dangerously as you shut them tight.</p><p>Erwin suddenly moved towards you, having perceived something amiss. You felt his hand on your wrist, his touch warm and the skin under his hand tingling. You opened your eyes and met his, the look of alarm and concern furrowing his brow snapping what little composure you had managed to keep.</p><p>Tears, hot and aggressive, spilled over your lashes and down your cheeks as you silently convulsed. His hand tightened around your wrist as he stood, pulling you out of the chair and towards him, breaking the hold as your arms wrapped around his waist. Your silent cries found their voice as you whimpered into his chest, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm as he stroked your back. His voice was deep and warm as he spoke, your whole body vibrating with each word.</p><p>“What happened to you.”</p><p>Your sobs petered out after a minute, the calming strokes of Erwin’s hand subduing the torrent inside you. You looked up at him.</p><p>“I told Levi about the night that I intervened in his life and… he didn’t take it well. But then…”</p><p>
  <em>Do you love him?</em>
</p><p>Erwin’s eyes flashed, anger and suspicion replacing the softness; his jaw worked as he stared at the door. Realizing that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him about the question, but also worried that you’d given him the wrong impression, you pressed your hands to his chest.</p><p>“Whoa, Commander, no need to crack a whip; nothing happened,” Erwin’s incredulous eyes looked pointedly at your neck, “- well, yes he pulled my knife on me – LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO MY HOLSTER! – but he stopped after he got his anger out. This is merely a scratch.” You smiled weakly, desperate to get back onto a footing that you were familiar with.</p><p>He grabbed your jaw, twisting your head to the left to inspect the still bleeding wound. Your stomach flipped, the tingling sensation following wherever his hands went. He grabbed your left shoulder and spun you around, placing his hand on your back and pushing you towards the open door opposite the main entrance, through which a large bed could be seen. You looked over your shoulder, but Erwin’s eyes were straight ahead as he guided you across the bedroom to another door on the wall opposite the foot of the bed.</p><p>“You need a bath, and I’m going to dress your wound. Then we’ll talk about what made you cry like that.” The pressure of his hand disappeared as he walked to a large bathtub positioned under a large bank of windows. You watched him pull a stool to the side of the tub, followed by a small stand and a few metal and glass containers. He dropped the stopper and turned the taps, the water steaming as it poured out of the curved spout. Turning to the stand, he pulled a cork out of one of the glass containers and set to pouring a small amount into the water under the spout; the smell of lavender floated through the steam.</p><p>As the tub continued to fill, he began to unbutton his shirt, the fine hairs on his impeccably chiseled chest and torso muscles raising in waves with the sudden change in temperature. You could feel your lips swell, your walls tightening as the shirt hit the floor. He looked over at you.</p><p>“Take those clothes off and get in the water.” His voice was soft, one he seldom used with you, and its effect was painfully seductive. You pulled the tunic over your head and loosened your pants, roughly pushing the bands of the holsters down with them. You faltered as you realized, in your haste to obey, you’d forgotten to remove your boots first. Chuckling as you pulled the pants back up, you loosened your boots and pushed them off, the pants and holsters clattering across the floor as you kicked the pile away. Left with only the intricate undergarment, you hooked a thumb through a twisted tie at your side, pulling the tail out. Erwin’s voice stopped your progress.</p><p>“Allow me.” He turned the taps off and lifted his hand to you. You walked the short distance to him, his lidded eyes and parted lips intensifying a shaking sensation in your legs as you came closer. He looked over your body as he unwound the raiment, his hand brushing over the bruises forming on your thigh, core and neck, wrapping the silken material around his hand as he went. His brow was furrowed as he surveyed the damage Levi had inflicted. Reaching behind him, he turned back with a small white tab in his hand.</p><p>“Chew this and swallow. You’ll need it tomorrow, undoubtedly. Also, this,” he turned again and produced a few leaves of spearmint, “for the horrid taste.” You took both, chewing the bitter analgesic with a grimace and then following it with the blessed spearmint leaves, your mouth and eyes watering with the intensity of the camphor. The last of the knots pulled, the lengths of material fell from his hand to coil at your feet. He assisted you into the hot bath, the water sliding up your skin as you melted into the heat.</p><p>The sound of the water as his hand dipped in and out with a cloth reminded you of the small streams that ran through the region of his childhood; quiet chirps and splashes, followed by breaths of current as the water swirled around your breasts and stomach like a lakeshore. His hand traced the red and ever-increasing yellow line where Levi had raked the handle of your knife as he gently washed from your neck to your pubic bone.</p><p>“Turn around.”</p><p>You turned slowly so as not to splash him with water, resting your arms on the lip of the tub. The cloth dragged across the raw spot where your back had been scraped along the floor in your attempt to escape Levi’s rage. Erwin sighed as though he had been holding a deep breath.</p><p>“I won’t ask for details.”</p><p>You turned your head to look at him. There was a strange sadness about him, his eyes somber and distant as though he were in mourning. <em>Is this how he looked when his father died? </em>You reached under his arm and squeezed his thigh, the look dissipating. You turned again and clasped his hand under the water, tugging the cloth.</p><p>“Erwin, let me take over. And… I don’t know what you think happened, but Levi was justified in what he did. I hold no grudge against him. I would have been disappointed if he had taken the information in his stride.” You leaned over the lip of the tub to inspect the various ointments and oils he had set out on the stand as he watched you, picking a rose-colored bar to scrub your nether regions clean.</p><p>“Why did you tell him? I understand what you said earlier about needing to establish better understanding with him in the event this mission –” you tensed unwittingly at the reminder- “is a complete failure… but did you want him to hurt you?”</p><p>You bit your lip. If you told him about the regret you felt, about how you’d always felt the same way when you would have to leave his side but didn’t know why, you would have to tell him about the request, and then the question – <em>OUT OF THE QUESTION</em> – so you held your tongue. Erwin nodded, his mouth a thin line of restraint.</p><p>“Of course. It isn’t my place to question your impulses –”</p><p>“Erwin, it’s not that. I just… we talked about something that I…” your mind strayed to the conversation, and you felt a familiar stab of resentment. “<em>Oh yeah…</em> why is the only thing that Levi knows about me from you is how I’m perfect for the job, but literally <em>nothing else</em>?” You looked at him with a disgruntled expression, your nostrils flared, and your lips pulled into a ridiculous grimace. Erwin laughed.</p><p>“Ah, yes. I never really spoke with Levi about you. I thought about it, but… I was worried that you two might develop ... a problematic relationship.” Erwin blushed as he smiled. Your eyes narrowed, your mouth agape in shock as you squeezed the cloth over your skin, the suds from Erwin’s ministrations having dried on your shoulders.</p><p>“Erwin… why do you look like that? What was there to have worried about; that we would kill each other? Have a bit more faith in my charisma...” You rolled your eyes, mouth still hanging open.</p><p>“No. This sounds ridiculous to say out loud. However. I was worried that your personalities might be too compatible.” The wince on his face made you giggle as you realized what he had just confessed. You prodded his leg as you smiled at him.</p><p>“I’m speechless. I would never have taken you for the jealous type.” The blush on his cheeks was faint now, his eyes cast down as he sheepishly grinned. Erwin Smith, the hope of humanity and champion of freedom, was possessive over you. The idea bloomed in your chest, sending small tendrils of pure joy into all the dark places of your mind, illuminating the question yet again. If you did love him, and he loved you, surely this was evidence?</p><p>He stood, walking to a tall standing cabinet along the wall to retrieve a long hose with a shower spout at one end. He screwed the loose end of the hose to the spigot and turned the taps. You turned your back to him and lifted your chin, allowing him to soak your hair. Cutting the taps again, he handed you a small glass jar with a dark viscous liquid. Pulling the cork, you were hit with a familiar strong smell. You tried to pinpoint the musky smell, looking questioningly at Erwin.</p><p>“I had it designed specifically. It was meant to be a gift. For you.”</p><p>Pouring a small amount in your hand, you rubbed your palms together, keenly aware of Erwin’s gaze as you lathered the heady scent into suds and worked it across your scalp. His hand joined yours, massaging the hair around the nape of your neck as he knelt next to the tub.</p><p>The scent became less intense, surrounding you as the sound of the water lapping at the sides of the tub brought you back to that secluded wood with the little stream –</p><p>
  <em>Oh… this is the scent of that tree.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>She ran ahead of him, excited and ecstatic to be out in the grass again, away from the hot stones of the city. He could have caught up with her, if he pushed hard enough, but he enjoyed the sight of her sprinting through the shadows of the trees, her dress flapping behind her. She had begun to change, ever so slightly; she was taller, her face more detailed and expressive, her arms and legs moving in mystifying ways. She had always been his friend, but now she was distracting him even as he spent time with her. The way she would smile at a passing butterfly or laugh at the simple jokes he would tell her would catch his eye and stop him mid thought. She was different, and he wanted to understand why. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The clearing ahead had a small creek rambling through it, and he had wanted to show her the strange dead stump he had found the day before her arrival. She burst onto the grass, tripping in her haste to beat him and tumbling with wild hoots of laughter, catching him as he tried to pass her. They tumbled through the flowers, disturbing the bees and other residents until their roll lost its momentum, both of them huffing and laughing in a tangle of arms and legs. She lifted her head to look at him, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight, and she felt a jolt go through her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pulling each other to their feet, he took her hand and walked her over to the tree stump. Her face was warm and pink, her every nerve tingling with a new sensation that stemmed from the hand being held by the boy leading her. As they approached the tree, the pungent smell of a deep rot made their noses scrunch up. Even still, she wanted to get closer, breathing in the malodourous scent from the pool of liquid that had filled the dead husk of the tree. Eyes gleaming, she stuck her hand in the liquid, withdrawing fingers covered in a thick syrup of stinky goo and bringing them close to her nose to sniff. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He watched her with wonder, amazed at her lack of hesitation and her daring. The smell was making her eyes water, tears streaming down her face as she laughed and brought her sap-covered fingers close to his face. He yelped, grabbing her hands and pulling them to either side of his body to keep the sap away from him. Her chest pressed against his as he did so, their faces as close as they had ever been when telling stories or staring at various natural wonders on the ground or on trees. This time, however, was different. They stared into each other’s faces, searching for the next word that failed to arrive as they both held their breath. For all her boldness, she was slightly frightened by the new level of closeness, and the bundling sensation in her stomach was intensifying the longer they stayed that way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His eyes softened, pulling on her arms a little tighter as he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss her on the lips. She stood frozen for a moment before closing her eyes and leaning into him, the bundling sensation unraveling all at once and humming across her whole body. As they broke the kiss, their cheeks burnt with the initial touch of a flame, they looked around them at the sunlight dappled clearing. The trees were swaying in a gentle breeze, the rustling sound of the leaves dancing along the percussive trickling of the creek. Birds chirped merrily to one another, the bees buzzing from flower to perfect flower. The silence of nature seemed to be serenading their innocent discovery. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They returned through the woods slowly, him holding her sap-covered hand, both of them quiet and smiling.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The next chapter will be very smutty. I had to break this into two sections. Also, I almost forgot my man had one arm when writing the second part, which will be posted in a day or two.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Night: Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Passion and climax in Erwin's bed set the stage for a short-lived reprieve from her turmoil.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HERE IT IS, THE SMUT. First of many. </p><p>But also, character development, and a rather large milestone for our girl. </p><p>ENJOY!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>They returned through the woods slowly, him holding her sap-covered hand, both of them quiet and smiling.</em>
</p><p>Tears streamed down your cheeks. All the years that had passed with you holding onto that memory, protecting it from the woman you’d had to become to survive; you felt a dangerous crack inside, a deep and thunderous resonating feeling, and you dropped your hands into the water. Erwin turned the taps back on as he pulled the stopper, the water draining as he rinsed your hair and body. You stood, silently crying as he continued to rinse you down, your breath catching slightly as he turned the head upwards to shower your cheeks and lips with water.</p><p>Turning the taps off, he retrieved a large towel from the standing cabinet and handed it to you, offering you his hand after you’d wrapped yourself up. You couldn’t bear the silence, and as he retrieved a smaller towel for your hair, a sob escaped.</p><p>He paused at the cabinet, his hand on the towel. You dried yourself slowly, the silence suffocating you as your refreshed skin shivered. He turned slowly, his eyes on the floor as he returned with the towel. Taking it and squeezing your hair, you steadied yourself as best you could. Your heart was full of so much anguish and desire, sadness and passion; there would have to be a release from the tangle inside. Dropping both towels on the tiles, you took his hand.</p><p>Leading him to the bed, you sat and pulled him in front of you, loosening the tie around the waist of his pants. They fluttered to the floor, bumps raising across his skin as you traced your fingers along the ridge of his hip bones, following the V-line of his muscles to the neatly trimmed patch of hair. Kissing his stomach, your lips dragging lightly across his skin, your hands found their way to his chest. You pinched one of his nipples as you nipped him, his breath catching as his shaft swelled before you.</p><p>The scent of the skin and hair and the precum leaking from the tip was a compliment to the oud of the shampoo. Panting slightly, you looked up at him, your left-hand circling around the base of his cock as you began stroking him. You could feel the wetness between your legs, hot and insistent. His eyes were intense as he stared down at you, his lips parted, and his jaw clenched. He cupped your chin, hooking his thumb around the bottom teeth of your jaw and pulling your mouth open.</p><p>“I have something for you.”</p><p>He pulled away to retrieve a large, sturdy wedge-shaped pillow from a wardrobe along the wall. Tossing it on the bed, he gestured to it as if to say, ‘take a look’. The oddity of it distracted you from your heavy thoughts, crawling to it and cocking your head to the side as you prodded it. It seemed like a perfectly normal pillow, save its shape and its dense structure. It was likely not for sleeping, which could only mean it was an implement for sex. You smirked.</p><p>“Erwin, is this pillow specifically for sex?”</p><p>“Of course. I knew, with this,” he looked to his right shoulder, “it would require a bit more creativity to enjoy the experience of fucking you.”</p><p>His brazen language was like an ignition; you flipped the wedge so that your hips would be at the high point, piling all the pillows together to prop up your shoulders where you could see. You extended both arms to him, guiding him as he knee-walked towards you. You moaned into his kiss as his hand smacked your ass hard, grabbing firmly. Your hands curled around his neck and into his hair, the honeyed slick of your cunt coating the tip of his finger as he grasped more flesh and bit your lip, his tongue teasing your own to his lips. Grasping his cock, you stroked him slowly, pulling his hips closer to yours as you ran his tip up and down your lips, rocking your hips into him.</p><p>His hand released your ass cheek and he pushed you backwards onto the wedged pillow. Your ass hanging off the edge, you spread your legs as he hooked his bent arm over your right leg and spread your vulva with his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were heavy with lust as he closed them, licking around the opening and along the inner lips, kissing and sucking your clit every so often but always returning to the tight hole. The feel of his tongue, velvety and warm, against the little crevices of your vulva was delicious; soft trails of electric vibrations radiated into your belly as he indulged. His eyes opened to your ravenous face as you began begging in whimpers and moans for him to continue. His mouth broke contact as he groaned, and he straightened up as two fingers trailed from your clit to sink inside you.</p><p>“Aahh, Erwin,” you purred.</p><p>He half-smiled with a relaxed look of satisfaction as he massaged your walls, bending his fingers to find the ridged spot that always undid you. Your legs fell to either side with the slow and steady rhythm of his thrusts, your hands massaging your inner thighs to encourage them to relax, your thumbs circling your clit. Your body felt like it was melting, as it had when you’d slipped into the bath, and you could feel the gate deep inside building pressure. Your breath was becoming more erratic, your legs trying to close instinctively with the intensity of the <em>urgency</em> that you felt. Erwin hushed you, clicking his tongue softly to admonish your resistance, which made the heat in your cheeks and chest rise; you felt so vulnerable, so exposed, and you relished these moments. You didn’t have to be a warrior, or a pragmatist, or anything at all. You could just let his fingers and eyes own every inch of your body unreservedly, the fiery residue of every mark you’d earned that night adding painful reprieves from the bundling riot waiting to burst onto Erwin’s hand.</p><p>He stooped to pull your clit between his lips, his tongue matching the speed of his fingers as your hands spread your legs wide. The gate began to open, a flood of tension releasing in pleasant waves as you squirted, his lips and tongue trying to catch as much as he could. Fingers withdrawing, you saw him swallowing as he sucked, hooking his arm over your leg again for support as he continued to eat you out. The thought of him drinking your cum made you feel empty and desperate to be filled.</p><p>“Fuck, Erwin, I need more…” Your hand twisted into his hair, pulling his face closer as you rocked into his mouth. He smiled, his teeth flashing as his tongue withdrew. He pushed himself up and you repositioned the wedge, the high point at the headboard. His hand played across your stomach and obliques, pinching you as he pulled you in for a kiss. He tasted like you, slightly sweet and a bit salty, with a nutty aftertaste.</p><p>
  <em>I love this, for fucking sure.</em>
</p><p>You pulled him around, throwing him onto the wedge and mounting him, your forearm like a blade against his throat. His eyes flashed, a broad smile meeting your own as his hand pushed on your hip, willing you to sink back onto his dick. You could feel the tip as he bounced it against you, lining it up slowly before sitting back on the entire length. The depth of penetration made you gasp.</p><p>“[Y/n] …” His moan was breathy and eager, his hand trailing onto your thigh and his thumb pressing into the meat of your hip flexors. You brought your hips up as you lifted yourself again, falling like a piston before lifting back up again, the thickness of his cock intensifying the pleasure each time. His eyes were hazy, his mouth open and pulled into that grimace where you couldn’t tell if he was lost in pain or pleasure. Speeding up, you ground your hips in tight circles every time your pussy slid down the full length of him, watching him intently to gauge how close his climax was; each time you saw the edge you would slow down, lifting your hips all the way up and resisting the increasing pressure of his hand. After a few minutes of this torture, he grabbed the back of your head to devour your lips, his fingers punishingly tight in your hair.</p><p>Your heart raced as you remembered the feel of Levi’s fingers, the back of your knife in his deft hand pressing against your neck, the way you could feel the heat off his body. You moaned into Erwin’s mouth, the sensation of his dick inside you intensifying as you began riding him with abandon. He pulled his knees up, digging his heels into the bed and pressing his shoulders into the wedge as he met you with equal force. His mouth moved to the now trickling wound on your neck, teeth circling the area as his tongue lapped at the blood before clamping down with his lips and sucking hard. A strangled cry from your mouth as your cheeks burned, your breath desperate, the penultimate thrusts before you both crashed into each other’s orgasms violent in their ferocity.</p><p>His hand relaxed as you shuddered against his chest, drooling slightly. Your mind was a hazy minefield of sex and violence, flashes of Levi’s eyes on you as he had chased you across the floor coupled with the images of Erwin’s lust-filled face in the last few moments of ecstasy. Erwin combed through your hair with his fingers, trailing down your spine in small circles as your breathing slowed. You lifted your head, wiping your mouth with your knuckles, and smiled sleepily.</p><p>“I don’t know that we’ve ever finished so quickly. Or intensely.”</p><p>He chuckled, pulsing inside you as he did. Lying next to him, you nestled your head on his left bicep, burying your nose in his underarm and inhaling deeply. He laughed in surprise.</p><p>“Aha! What are you doing?”</p><p>“I love the way you smell, I’m just…” <em>Trying to remember this moment.</em></p><p>Erwin’s face was calm and gentle as he looked at you; a far cry from the brooding scrutiny Levi had as he waited for you to answer him. So many pertinent questions that demanded immediate resolution. There was no better time that you could see to broach the subject.</p><p>“Levi asked me if I loved you.”</p><p>“… Oh. And you said?”</p><p>“Nothing. I left. And came here.”</p><p>He nodded, his arm pulling you closer. He inhaled deeply as he thought, looking across the foot of the bed to the window over the tub. You felt your cheeks burning with awkwardness, and you pushed yourself up into a seated position. The feelings of vulnerability, mixed with fear, returned and twisted inside you as you looked down at your hands. You had asked Levi to save Erwin, by any means necessary. You’d heard Erwin tell Levi that he was willing to die, to damn all of the soldiers at his disposable, in order to achieve his dream. Ostensibly, the means were the same, but their ends differed immensely. You felt powerless; you were by no means a woman that anyone, having dealt with you, would have expected to feel this way.</p><p>
  <em>Now or never.</em>
</p><p>“Please… stay.”</p><p>Erwin’s gaze didn’t falter from the windows, though his brows lifted slightly. You took a shaky breath.</p><p>“I know I have no right to ask this. I… can’t lose you. I think that’s why Levi asked me if I love you. And if love means damning every soul from here to beyond the walls to keep you by my side, then I suppose I do love you.” You could feel your body tightening against an unknown force as you stared at his face. He turned to meet your gaze, a simple gesture that felt like a caress and a slap all at once.</p><p>“Why were you crying earlier?” <em>I suppose this is on schedule…</em></p><p>“I can’t … I don’t know. We’ve never discussed love before, and the possib-”</p><p>“No. I mean, while I washed your hair.”</p><p>The blush across your cheeks was alluring to Erwin, though you wouldn’t have known it; you looked more like the girl he had known before his father’s death. Smiling, you answered.</p><p>“I was remembering the day you took me to see the tree. The one I imagine you used to create the scent.”</p><p>The smile on his face made your heart melt, it was so soft and sweet. He seemed to lose the look of years of wear and hardship in an instant, his eyes tenderly taking you in.</p><p>“Why do you think I chose that scent?”</p><p>“…just tell me, Erwin.”</p><p>“I love you. I have loved you since before that day. I loved you when I debated your father’s marriage proposal. I will love you even after I die, if such a continuation is possible. Even still, I can’t stay here while the work that I have sacrificed so many lives to complete, the answer to why you and I have had to lose so much, stands behind the doors of a basement in Shiganshina.”</p><p>He stroked your cheek as you sat bewildered. Your father had not only been <em>open</em> to you marrying Erwin, but had offered your hand? When? He had never said anything to you about it, and Erwin had kept deadly quiet. You wanted to ask him, but the sting of his final words burned inside you. He was reaffirming his willingness to die for his dream, even as he confessed a truth you hadn’t realized you’d hoped for. <em>It’s never easy with you, is it Erwin? </em>Every kiss had teeth with him.</p><p>
  <em>Levi is my only hand in this match. I’ll have to bet the house on him. It’s what you’re doing, isn’t it? </em>
</p><p>“I’ll be back in a moment.” You leaned in to kiss him as you crawled over him to go to the bathroom. He rolled off the bed and followed you, smacking your ass playfully.</p><p>“Might as well get ready for bed together.”</p><p>You turned to look at him, slightly puzzled by his rapid change in tone. He had a strange look about him, almost mischievous; you raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Erwin… what’s with that face?”</p><p>“Tomorrow is a full day of preparations and rest for the units leaving for Shiganshina the day after, but I’ll be free after the morning meeting, and I have ideas.” He grinned, eyes sparkling.</p><p>Rolling your eyes, you each set about relieving yourselves and stepped into the tub to wash again, fending off his searching hand and spraying him with water as you both laughed. The pain in your heart throbbed quietly as you dried each other off and slipped under the covers together, faint curiosity about the nature of Erwin’s ideas fading into darkness as the heaviness of sleep settled around you.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>.... Did you enjoy it? It took me a minute after starting meds to get back into the spirit. Also, I'm kinda mad at the way I ended this chapter, might edit later.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The day before the Survey Corps is set to return to Shiganshina begins.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Smut. Levi. Jealousy. New territory. An appearance by Armin and Hange!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The blueish-grey light of the approaching morning drew you out of a dreamless sleep. You felt the warmth of feathers and skin, wrapped up snug in the thick comforter and Erwin’s legs. Turning a bleary eye to him, you studied his sleeping face, relaxed and content. The night’s passionate ride of emotions and sensations echoed around your mind as you pulled yourself closer to him, stirring him into a light state of wakefulness. His right shoulder moved as though he were attempting to grab you with a phantom limb, his eyebrow knitting slightly in confusion as you slid your leg across his torso and pulled your body on top of his. A growl of pleasure rumbled in his chest as his arm circled around you, his legs stretching as his bucked his hips against you, eyes still closed.</p>
<p>You laid like that, listening to the beat of his heart, feeling his chest rise and fall, with a smile on your face. His skin was warm, and you could barely make out the contours of his arm and shoulder as the threshold of the light increased. Tracing your fingers around his chest, you pulled yourself closer to him, trying to remove any space between your skin and his. Slowly you realized the increasing presence of his member pressing against your lips, and you pushed yourself down his body, pulling the head of his shaft just inside your vagina. Erwin’s breathing deepened, his eyes fluttering as you gently pushed his arm off. Lifting your body slowly so as to keep him inside you, you massaged his chest, down his ribcage and across his abs, delighting in the ways he shuddered. Ever so gradually you lowered yourself down, being careful not to let the whole of your body weight rest on him, biting your lip to stifle your own voice; you wanted him to wake up slowly.</p>
<p>Your fingers traced his obliques, applying even pressure as you rode him. He shivered slightly, bumps raising across the exposed skin, so you pulled the cover around your shoulders and covered him with the corners. The warmth made you feel drunk, the blood rising in your cheeks as you laid your head back, reveling in the sweet experience. Erwin’s hand snaked up your thigh, his fingers digging into the flesh as they continued across your hip and over your belly, his thumb angling downwards to slip between your lips; you looked down at him to see a lazy smile and half-lidded eyes, his thumb drawing circles around your clit. His tongue slid seductively under his top lip before he spoke, making your insides burn with need.</p>
<p>“Let me see you.”</p>
<p>Dropping the blanket to your hips, your hands began drawing circles on your stomach, the cool air making your skin tingle and your nipples harden. You squeezed your breasts, massaging them for a moment before exploring your neck and jaw line, all the while undulating your hips in a steady rhythm. Erwin’s thumb never stopped, the pressure alternating between light and heavy, and you clenched around him each time your hips came up. The buildup of tension was slow and subtle, feeling like a wandering stream that you were lazily following. The walls of your pussy felt softer, more supple as you felt your orgasm rising.</p>
<p>“Erwin, I’m gonna come soon… please don’t stop.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t dare.”</p>
<p>Smiling, you planted your hands on his thighs as you arched your back, the banks of the little stream beginning to flood as your hips continued their faithful pace. Erwin’s shallow breaths became trembling huffs as you came, pulsing around him as the hot sensation of his orgasm filled you. The strangest desire to cry bubbled up inside you, as though the fullness in your cunt was extending into your belly and your heart. You pulled yourself off of him, heading to the bathroom as the tears flowed down your cheeks, the warm sensation of completeness overwhelming you.</p>
<p>Erwin didn’t follow you, for which you were thankful. It seemed as though you’d been crying since the moment you walked through his door last night, and it was something neither of you were accustomed to. Your dynamic had never been overly sentimental; yet, the last twenty-four hours had been the most extreme and unsettling experience in your relationship. The blood, violence and intrigue of the past five years, even as it was punctuated by fantastic sex, didn’t hold a candle to the bizarre turn of events of the previous evening.</p>
<p>Having relieved yourself, you pulled the stand to the bath, setting a towel and the rose-colored bar of soap on it. The shower extension was still attached as you turned the tap, the cold water making your breath hitch. The light from the window was now pink and blue, diffusing across the small slips of river that you could see. You could imagine the feel of the crisp air as a few birds darted across the sky for their breakfast. A low growl from your stomach interrupted your thoughts, the warm water cascading down your skin. <em>Ah, fuck, I didn’t have any dinner! Breakfast sounds good… Hopefully he has a kitchen… </em></p>
<p>You finished bathing as Erwin entered the bathroom, caution in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright?”</p>
<p>“Yes; why?”</p>
<p>“Do you think I didn’t see you crying?”</p>
<p>Blushing, you smiled apologetically.</p>
<p>“Ah, I was feeling <em>really </em>good, I swear. I guess that’s called happy crying. That’s a thing, right?” You chuckled nervously, which gave over into actual laughter as you realized the ridiculousness of the situation. You were crying because you loved a man who, though he requited your affections, was dead set on risking his life in a gamble rather than be assured of victory from a safe distance. His stubbornness and selfishness frustrated you, but wasn’t that why you loved him in the first place? His determination to see his undertaking through, and his trust and admiration for you were based on the same foundations. You were the same, in the end, and that kindred spirit was why you harbored these pesky sentiments.</p>
<p>You stepped out of the tub, drying and checking yourself out in the floor length mirror by the door. The bruising on your neck was two-fold now, after Erwin’s marking, the dark purple and red blending with yellow in what looked like a grotesque lollipop. The marks on your thigh and stomach were also fairly intense and quite sore. You wouldn’t be able to hide your neck without the proper attire.</p>
<p>“Erwin, I don’t suppose you could send someone to collect my things from my lodgings? Also… I don’t think I have the right cover for these marks on my neck, and I would rather not have Dot and every other member of the garrison seeing love bites all over me. I have a reputation to maintain.”</p>
<p>He had sidled up behind you, his eyes surveying the image in the mirror. You gathered your hair to the side to show him as his fingers curled around the back of your neck, his thumb pressing the darkened skin; you winced as your eyes met in the mirror.</p>
<p>“I’d rather like you to show it today. But, of course, I’ll send someone to retrieve your horse and your things. We can even go shopping for a high-collared shirt together.” He smiled brightly, his thumb stroking the sore spot sadistically before smacking your ass and pushing you towards the door.</p>
<p>Donning one of his long shirts, you rolled up the sleeves as you exited the bedroom. There was a hallway to the right, through which you saw the unmistakable countertops and sink of a kitchen. The walls along the hallway were open shelves, stocked with various items; two tea sets, one that was rather plain and another clearly intended for higher ranking meetings, pots and pans, a few sets of dishes and cups and silverware, a few small bags of flour and salt, and the tins of barley tea. You stopped to touch the tins, smiling at the placement of your gift in an area that would ensure its use.</p>
<p>The kitchen itself was a galley style kitchen, with a small window on the right-hand wall next to a dark doorway, and the countertop stretching to the left, a large range and oven in the middle. <em>Why would he have such a large workspace, he doesn’t cook. </em>You rolled your eyes, walking to the doorway to search for the icebox and finding another storage area, but no icebox in sight.</p>
<p>“Erwin! Do you have any fresh food?!” Your voice felt too loud in the stillness of the morning, but you were hungry and annoyed. His muffled response caused you to sigh as you briskly returned to the bedroom, standing next to the bathroom door to hear the sound of running water. You opened the door to see Erwin rinsing himself off. “I repeat; do you have any fresh food? And don’t say that you’ll send for breakfast, because <em>I’m going to cook for you, damnit</em>.”</p>
<p>“In that case, no; I have no fresh food. But if you make a list, I’ll have someone go to the market when I send them for your things.”</p>
<p>You nodded, slightly crestfallen at the prospect of not being able to pick the food out yourself when you suddenly felt discomfited.</p>
<p>“Erwin, you easily accepted my request to relocate to your quarters. I know there’s nothing stopping you from making the decision to do so, but considering the politics of the Queen’s right-hand sleeping with the Commander of her most critical force, why would you just… agree?”</p>
<p>He watched the water shower his abs as he answered.</p>
<p>“The world we’ve created out of necessity doesn’t need to conform to the precepts of ancient hypocrites. Besides, where else would you stay if not here?” He looked at you with a serious face. “As the Sergeant-At-Arms, your authority is second only to the Queen, and you have the freedom to make your own decisions. I honestly don’t know why you didn’t come directly to me when you arrived. I wouldn’t have turned you away, even if I could.”</p>
<p>Smiling, you nodded again, closing the door behind you as you made your way to his desk.</p><hr/>
<p>An hour later, the sun shining brightly on the city, a crisp knocking caught your attention from the kitchen. Having cleaned the countertops and laid out your equipment, you pulled your hair up into a messy twist, still wearing Erwin’s shirt as you answered the door. A young Garrison soldier stood before you with a basket of food and a sack of your belongings. Her freckled cheeks were pink with exertion, the small rust-colored hairs along her hairline damp and sticking to her skin.</p>
<p>“Sergeant! Your things! I’ve also secured your horse in the stables; she was very well cared for! She’s already brushed, and your saddle is oiled and buffed! Also, your food!”</p>
<p>Your eyes were wide in amusement as you smiled at her earnest and energetic demeanor. You took the basket from her, setting it on the desk and returning for the sack. Her eyes were switching between your thigh and your neck, the bruises peeking out from under the edges of the shirt. The pink in her cheeks darkened to a beet-red and you realized there would be no misinterpreting the reason for your presence in Erwin’s private quarters, and in such a state. As you reached for the sack, you grasped her hands firmly, pulling her close.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you understand the delicate nature of this moment. Please understand, the commander and I have known each other for over twenty years. He appreciates your discretion, as I appreciate your commitment to the Garrison.”</p>
<p>She nodded and swallowed hard as you released her hands and took the sack, quietly closing the door as her back turned. Inspecting the basket as you carried it to the kitchen, your stomach growled angrily. The smell of the bread was agonizing, and as soon as you set the basket on the counter you snatched the loaf and the package of butter, hastily cutting a slice and slathering a thick pad of butter over it before chomping down on the still warm piece. It was heavenly, the heady aroma of the yeasty dough mingling with the salty fat of the butter, and you chewed with your eyes closed.</p>
<p>You set about prepping the food, slicing the mushrooms and cracking the eggs into a bowl before shredding the soft cheese over them and beating the mixture together. The freshly rinsed green onions and tomatoes sat on the drying board, the heavy cast iron pan on the range beginning to smoke. Setting the kettle over a burner on the back of the range, you didn’t register Erwin’s presence in the doorway, his eyes following your movements as you dropped the sausages in the hot pan, the sizzle of the skin against the iron complimenting the chopping of the green onions on the broad wooden cutting board.</p>
<p>You turned to retrieve the tin of barley tea and ran full-on into Erwin’s sturdy form, his arm scooping under yours as he pulled you in for a kiss. Smacking your hands on his chest in exasperation, you exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Don’t <em>do </em>that, Erwin!”</p>
<p>“Kiss you? How unfair.” He smiled down at you as you struggled to push away from him. You were still hungry and now you needed tea, reaching around him to grab the tin. He kissed your forehead, and you relaxed into his chest as he spoke.</p>
<p>“I won’t bother you while you’re cooking, I promise. The meeting will start soon, and I would ask that you put on some pants before everyone arrives. They probably won’t be eating, but would you mind making them tea as well? There’s another tin of a green tea here –” he stretched behind him to pull down an ornate tin box – “that Levi prefers.”</p>
<p>Your cheeks flushed for a moment; you shouldn’t have been surprised, it was obvious that Levi would be involved in any meeting concerning the upcoming mission. Erwin’s eyebrow lifted up as you rolled your eyes.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s just wonderful. I’m sure this won’t be awkward or uncomfortable for anyone.”</p>
<p>Erwin snorted and kissed your forehead again, turning away from you with a squeeze of your hip. You followed after him, splitting off to the bedroom to rummage through his drawers for a pair of lounge pants. A silky black pair that seemed too small for him slipped through your fingers, and you pulled them on. A flash of anger and jealousy ripped through you; who the hell did these belong to? They were slightly loose on you, but not long enough to fit him properly even if they were meant to be tight. You stifled the burning in the pit of your stomach, returning to the kitchen.</p>
<p>You vaguely registered the knock on the door, and Erwin’s voice as he greeted Levi and whoever else was with him. Hange’s buoyant voice echoed around the corner of the hallway as you retrieved the plain tea set from the shelf, followed by a somewhat familiar, quiet voice. <em>Could that be Armin? </em>You continued cooking, pulling the sausages from the pan and tossing the mushrooms in with a bit of butter, checking the bowl of eggs for bubbles as the kettle began to whistle. You shook your head as you realized Erwin never told you how many people were coming, chuckling at the idea of a domestic scene in which you were a long-suffering wife with a loving but absent-minded husband whose lofty pursuits made daily life a jovial and challenging adventure.</p>
<p>You were setting up the tea pot with the green tea, readying the kettle to pour over the basket of leaves when a set of fingers lightly brushed the bruise on your neck. You shivered, wetness forming between your legs as you sighed with pleasure. Setting the kettle on a trivet you smiled, your hand reaching out behind you to grab Erwin’s shirt, pulling him towards you as turned.</p>
<p>“Couldn’t get enough could y-”</p>
<p>Shock and a touch of fear coursed through you, your legs shaking underneath you as Levi’s bewildered steel-grey eyes pierced through you. Your hand was still clutching his shirt, your faces less than a foot from each other, his hand hovering near your ear. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked down at his parted lips, your breath shaking in and out of your lungs. The wetness between your legs was cooling off, but you were unbearably tight, and the way his lips quivered as though he would close the distance between you wasn’t helping.</p>
<p>His hands circled around your grip, gently releasing your fingers as he straightened his shirt. You turned back to the tea, your hand shaking as you tried to steady your breath, lifting the kettle to the tea pot.</p>
<p>“You should dress that bruise with arnica. Brings the color down faster.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t realize you cared.” You set the kettle back on the trivet, fixing the lid of the tea pot as you turned to the hot pan, flipping the mushrooms with a wire spatula.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think it would get that bad. Although from what I can see, I wasn’t the only one who left his mark on you last night.”</p>
<p>You looked over at him. He surveyed you with a strange familiarity, leering behind his otherwise unaffected façade. Despite his height, his air felt considerably powerful as his eyes lingered on your neck before trailing down the length of your body. A tension began twisting inside your stomach as he moved towards you. He reached out for your leg, pressing his hand into the bruise he knew would be there and gathering the material of the pants between his fingers. You resisted the urge to withdraw from the renewed proximity, the heat of his hand radiating through the material making the abused skin crawl. He smirked, still gripping the pants as he looked you in the eye, his voice low and husky.</p>
<p>“This, however, belongs to me.”</p>
<p>You furrowed your brow as possibilities crashed through your mind; did he mean the pants? It would explain their length and size, and possibly the fact that Erwin had his preferred tea. But did that mean that he had slept here – that he had <em>slept with</em> Erwin? Or was he talking about the bruise he’d given you, was this his way of trying to claim some part of – <em>No, no way in hell this man wants me, of all people</em> – but of course he could tell that you had slept with Erwin, you had alluded to the nature of your relationship with him last night. But why –</p>
<p>“I can see that you’re confused. No, I haven’t fucked Erwin. I stayed here a few nights to ensure he could get out of bed at night to take a shit, and I wore comfortable clothes. I left the pants in case I needed to do so again.” Levi’s hand released the fabric and he headed into the darkened storeroom. The tension inside you unwound slightly. You transferred the mushrooms onto a warm plate and reduced the fire under the pan as he returned with a dark glass bottle and a roll of gauze. He set them on the counter and turned to you, his hand reaching for your neck again.</p>
<p>“Let me dress this, you shouldn’t be walking around looking like you’ve been assaulted.”</p>
<p>Your hand met his, the pads of your fingers sliding along his skin as you closed them around his wrist. You pulled his hand away and shook your head.</p>
<p>“Technically, I was assaulted. This is your handiwork, so I suppose you feel obligated to treat my wounds? No, I’ll manage.”</p>
<p>“Let’s try to remember why I had the inclination to kill you in the first place.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is thaaaat what you wanted to do? Hmm, why didn’t you follow through… oh, that’s right, because you said I was your <em>hero</em>.”</p>
<p>“I said no such fucking thing, brat.”</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure I’m older than you are but do continue; the insults make it easier to say ‘no’ to your pity.”</p>
<p>“This isn’t pity.”</p>
<p>You tossed butter into the pan, watching it melt in the reduced temperature. If it wasn’t pity, what the hell was it? Annoyance curled inside your chest. Turning to Levi, you pointed at the tea.</p>
<p>“You’re the expert; should I take the leaves out?”</p>
<p>He looked at the tea and sucked his teeth, nostrils flaring in irritation as he looked at you.</p>
<p>“In another couple of minutes; I’ll take it out.”</p>
<p>You shrugged and tipped the bowl of eggs into the melted butter, taking the wire spatula and stirring in long smooth strokes. Levi watched as the liquid slowly turned into fluffy yellow mountains; an angry gurgling issued from his stomach. You looked over at him, eyeing his waist.</p>
<p>“Did you eat breakfast?”</p>
<p>“I don’t usually eat this early in the morning, so no.”</p>
<p>“Well, <em>are you hungry?</em>”</p>
<p>“No, <em>I’ll manage</em>.”</p>
<p>Rolling your eyes, you grabbed a thick hand towel and tossed it to him, his face confused as he caught it.</p>
<p>“If you’re waiting for the tea, you can pull the toast out of the oven.”</p>
<p>He mouthed a silent ‘<em>ah’</em> as he passed behind you, opening the door and reaching in to pull out a large tray with several toasted slices of bread. The gurgling issued more insistently. You huffed as you sprinkled the chopped green onions over the eggs.</p>
<p>“There’s more than enough food here for you to have a plate as well. You can eat it in here if you want.”</p>
<p>“So, you refuse treatment for your injury, but you’re going to lecture me about breakfast?”</p>
<p>“Levi,” you scooped the eggs onto the same plate as the mushrooms, transferring all but two sausages onto it as well, “you and your body don’t agree. I hear your stomach quite clearly, and considering your gut is supposed to be the most reliable part of you, I’m going to trust that it’s saying you want to eat some food. So, <em>eat.</em>”</p>
<p>You handed him the plate with the sausages and the spatula, pointing to the pile of eggs and mushrooms and the hot crusty toast. He pursed his lips as you crossed your arms and leaned against the counter, your eyebrow cocked as you waited. Finally, he rolled his eyes and relented, scooping egg and mushroom onto his plate as you grabbed a fork.</p>
<p>He took the fork with a fake smile and stabbed a sausage, taking it in all at once. The pop of the skin as he bit into the sausage brought a satisfied smirk to your face. He closed his eyes as he chewed and swallowed. Shoveling up some of the mushrooms, he narrowed his eyes and inspected them before eating them, his eyebrows lifting in pleasant surprise. As he dropped the fork into the eggs, his mouth opened slightly; you knew he was excited even though he kept a straight face. You watched him intently as the eggs passed his lips, biting your lip as he closed his eyes. He moaned softly as he swallowed, his eyes still closed as you smiled broadly.</p>
<p>“I take it you like her cooking.”</p>
<p>You jumped at Erwin’s voice, looking over your shoulder to see him standing at the mouth of the hallway. His face was inscrutable. You had no idea how long he’d been standing there, but it couldn’t have been very long.</p>
<p>Levi opened his eyes and looked at Erwin without a trace of emotion. He set the plate down.</p>
<p>“She is quite talented.”</p>
<p>“Indeed, she is.”</p>
<p>“<em>SHE</em> is also standing right here; you could direct your compliments to me, thank you very much.”</p>
<p>Erwin chuckled as Levi passed behind you, his fingers trailing across your lower back for the briefest of moments; the touch sent a shiver through you. Blushing, you kept your back to Erwin, grabbing the butter knife and a plate and fixing yourself breakfast. Levi lifted the lid of the tea pot and leaned over it, inhaling deeply. He removed the basket and replaced the lid, transferring the pot and the cups to the tray and taking them out of the kitchen.</p>
<p>Erwin moved in behind you, his hand cupping your hip as he buried his face in your messy hair, inhaling you.</p>
<p>“You made quite a lot of food. I’m sure Hange and Armin would appreciate sharing a meal with the chef.” His voice was warm and sweet, betraying nothing of whatever you saw on his face in the doorway.</p>
<p>It was strangely uncomfortable, this feeling in your gut as though you had done something terrible and should feel guilty, bound up with the shame of knowing you would do it again if you could. What you had done that was so out of bounds, though, remained a mystery.</p>
<p>Erwin’s hand lifted the hem of the shirt as it slipped into the front of your pants, his fingers curling into the hair on your mons. You choked on a whimper as he tightened his grip and brought his lips to your ears.</p>
<p>“I could use Levi’s methods of pain to teach you a lesson in manners. However,” he loosened his grip and slipped his fingers between your lips, stroking the wet folds gently, “I would rather shower you in affection. Its ultimately your decision.” He removed his hand and turned the tap on the sink, running his hand under the water. You reached across him and grabbed the bar of soap on the rim, lathering his hand and scrubbing it under the water. Your cheeks were burning as you rinsed his hand, turning off the water and grabbing a towel to dry it.</p>
<p>Erwin watched you, stoic as ever. You met his eyes; what was happening here? You had never let anyone touch you without your permission, and you had always had lovers outside of Erwin; you assumed he had them as well. There had never been any agreement, implicit or explicit, about exclusivity. You assumed that he was on the same page; to believe anything else would have been foolhardy and naive of both of you. And yet, when it came to Levi, Erwin’s mind seemed to be split between his respect and admiration for the man, and this new possessiveness as it pertained to you. Which, in turn, brought up feelings of shame, yet another emotion you had very little experience with. To make matters worse, nothing had even <em>happened</em> between the two of you.</p>
<p>
  <em>Nothing except an explosive attack that aroused me. And then I <strong>almost</strong> kissed him, by accident. And then the pants/bruise thing, and that swipe of his fingers, and watching him eat my food made me happy, and why did he touch my neck like that in the first place, does he want to –</em>
</p>
<p>“[Y/n]. What are you thinking of?”</p>
<p>The concern on your face melted away as he broke you away from your thoughts. Shaking your head, you smiled.</p>
<p>“Nothing. Let me fix you a plate, and I’ll join you in a moment. Let Hange and the kid know they’re welcome to help themselves.”</p>
<p>Erwin smiled, a genuine smile that softened his eyes. As he left the kitchen, you prepped a plate for him, staring at the food that Levi had abandoned. Pursing your lips and shaking your head, you took both plates out to the main area, your stomach loudly announcing your arrival as you set the plates on the desk, greeting Hange with a hug and a big smile and shaking Armin’s hand as he blushed and smiled.</p>
<p>Levi sat in the reading chair drinking his tea, paying you no mind as Erwin sat at the desk, pushing the large map to the side before pulling his plate in front of him. Hange slapped Armin’s shoulder, pulling him by the shirt to the kitchen, their exclamation of excitement echoing back into the room.</p>
<p>You took your plate to the couch, curling your legs under you as you dug in hungrily, forgetting about the last few minutes as you enjoyed a buttered slice of warm toast, piling fluffy eggs on top and happily munching away. Levi watched you for a moment before getting up, disappearing into the kitchen as Hange and Armin’s bright faces emerged, plates piled high.</p>
<p>“[Y/n], this smells ridiculous; Erwin how dare you keep her locked away when she could have been hosting all our meetings?!” Hange sat next to you, their eyes locked on the eggs as they drooled. You shook your head at them, smiling.</p>
<p>"'Locked away'? Hange, I'm no kept woman, you'd better remember that when I beat those eggs back out of you later." They elbowed you in response as they set upon the toast and sausages, tears in their eyes as they chewed merrily.</p>
<p>Armin sat his plate down on the table, returning to the desk to retrieve their teacups. Placing them down by his and Hange’s plates, he looked to you.</p>
<p>“Sergeant, may I pour you a cup?”</p>
<p>“Please do, thank you.”</p>
<p>Levi reemerged from the kitchen, a plate of eggs and mushrooms and a slice of toast in hand as he made his way back to his chair; your heart skipped a beat, happy to see him going back for a full plate. Erwin cleared his throat, taking a sip from his cup before beginning the meeting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had to edit this, because as I write the following chapters, I realized that my military side came out and I wanted to go into detail with the meeting. I hope that I can get the chapter lengths and pacing under control; also, this is looking like it will become a multiple parts story line with this character. There's room for development of the relationship between the reader and Levi, but exploring the foundation of Erwin's relationship with her is proving difficult. They seem to have many more layers, and accurately capturing them in a cogent way is... hard. Thank you for sticking it out with me!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Reverie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The meeting begins, and she begins to see the threats they all face in the battles to come.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There is a reference to a sexual encounter with Hans in this chapter... debating whether I should give Hans what he ultimately wants, at some point. I think about him a lot, even though I haven't written him in more than once (which will change). Poor Hans.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tomorrow evening, we set out for Shiganshina, following the path we cleared. If we can keep the stops to a minimum, we should be able to walk right up to the edge of the inner gate before sunrise, avoiding any engagement with pure titans before closing the hole. We’re expecting enemy resistance; where exactly it will come from, or how their attack will be influenced by any titans in the vicinity is the unknown factor. How we divide the fight to handle the titans that will be in the interior of Wall Maria is our focus right now.”</p><p>Armin handed you a cup of tea, sitting back down next to Hange and starting on his breakfast. Levi set his plate down, a few mushrooms and half of a piece of toast the only items left. He sat back with his cup of tea, his eyes far off as he crossed his legs, an arm draped on the rest beside him. Hange stood and passed in front of you, crossing the room to consider the map on the desk. They leaned over, stroking their jaw with one hand and tapping the map with the other.</p><p>“With the new recruits from the garrison and the military police, we’ll be at a disadvantage. Neither group have much direct combat experience, with titans or people. Our priorities are sealing the wall and getting to that basement; Reiner and Bertolt will likely be prepared for both. Armin, what are your suspicions about their plans?”</p><p>Armin swallowed and rubbed his palms on his pants as his brow furrowed. You sipped your tea as you watched his pensive face, which was touched with a hint of sweat. He spoke slowly.</p><p>“I would suspect that they would avoid a direct fight, no matter how powerful their Titan forms are. The last time we encountered them, they seemed desperate to get Eren back to wherever they came from. Even though they’re our enemies, they’re still kids like we are. They want to complete the mission and go home.” He stared at his hands, sadness in his eyes. A small pang of compassion for the boy jabbed you; you looked over to Erwin and Hange as Levi chimed in.</p><p>“Even so, we can’t let them escape again. Whether or not they manage to kidnap Eren.”</p><p>Hange nodded. Erwin sighed.</p><p>“If we approach this as a search-and-destroy mission, we’ll be spread too thin within the city. Fighting pure Titans and two battle-hardened shifters could be possible if we had hundreds of seasoned veterans with proven maneuver gear skills. We don’t have that luxury.”</p><p>“We don’t know that they won’t be waiting for us at the gate,” Levi countered. “Undoubtedly, as Armin said, they won’t want to exhaust themselves fighting us and other titans in the city. Even if we’ve seen their tactics before, we’d be hard pressed to counter both dropping from the wall like bombs. They know Eren wouldn’t die, and it was successful before.”</p><p>Armin’s face tightened, like he’d been kicked in the stomach. Hange cleared their throat as they retrieved their cup, filling it with hot tea. They turned to you.</p><p>“What do you think, Sergeant?”</p><p>You cocked an eyebrow, looking around at the faces now turned to you. Levi’s expression was blank, his gaze still far away as he waited for you to respond. You tipped your head to the side.</p><p>“If I wanted to abduct someone that I had captured <em>and lost</em> before, I wouldn’t hold back. It would be a massacre. I don’t know if these two have the capability to mount such an offensive, but I wouldn’t wait for an initial attack from the enemy to make my move.”</p><p>You stood, walking over to the map to study the layout of the city. As with most of the cities along the walls, a river ran through it, and this one ran through the eastern portion of the city. You placed your hands on the desk, looking around the room as you spoke.</p><p>“However. I would wait within the city, somewhere with a good vantage point, and let the Survey Corps clear out the titans. Whether they know that Eren can close the holes in the wall doesn’t matter; their objective <em>is </em>Eren, so to avoid direct combat, they’d be smart to let you do the brunt of the work to make their escape easier.”</p><p>Erwin looked down at the map, his eyes bright. He stood, his hand trailing along the outline of the wall.</p><p>“If we stay close to the wall, concentrating on getting Eren to the outer gate and avoiding contact with any titans, we can secure Wall Maria from further titan incursions. Following the same tact, we can secure the inner gate. Taking care of the Titans outside of the city should be easy enough, even for the new recruits. At that point, we withdraw from the city, forcing them to make a move. We’ll lure them out.” He looked across the room, his eyes focused on Armin. You followed suit, seeing the pained conflict on the young man’s face. He looked up; his eyes trained on Erwin’s.</p><p>“Commander, I suggest we have everyone keep their cloaks on and hoods up. When I encountered Annie… the Female Titan, she wasn’t able to tell who we were without getting a good look at us. If everyone is hooded, it will force them to get closer; I imagine they’re going to have enough gas and blades to stay in human form, but they didn’t have their cloaks with them when they took Eren the first time, so… we should be able to spot them quickly, if they don’t transform.”</p><p>Levi nodded, uncrossing his legs and standing. He walked over to the desk, pouring himself another cup, sipping it as he looked down at the map. Hange drained their cup and looked to Erwin.</p><p>“So, now all that’s needed is to disseminate this information to the rest of the squad leaders. Hoods stay up throughout the duration of the mission, and outside of direct contact necessary to get to the wall, all units are to avoid engaging any titans, pure or shifter. We have the thunder spears, which I doubt the Armored Titan will be able to defend against; if it comes down to it.” They looked at Levi, pursing their lips. “Should we consider capturing them? We have the ability to take their power; perhaps that would be preferable to simply killing them. The Armored Titan would be a tactical advantage in future conflicts.”</p><p>Levi’s brow furrowed. Your mind flooded with bloody scenes full of cries of pain, frenzied pleas for a mother or father fading in and out of the carnage, Levi standing in the middle of it all. Would he be able to remain objective? Would he honor your request? Would he even need to consider it? The discussion of the impending mission made it sound like their greatest obstacle would be that which they had always faced, namely titans; so many things could go wrong before they even found the basement, though. You straightened up, slipping an arm through Hange’s as you looked back at the map. Erwin nodded.</p><p>“Yes, capturing them would be preferable to killing them outright. If what Eren reported is accurate, we would need to remove their arms and legs to keep them from transforming.”</p><p>“This is grim. I still haven’t grasped that this power exists; but imagine having your limbs hacked off every few hours to keep you from retaliating. Does it hurt?” You were squeezing Hange’s arm close to you as you looked around the room. Levi’s face was dark, while Armin looked as though he would be sick. Erwin looked sidelong at you as he pulled in a breath.</p><p>“Whether it does or doesn’t hurt doesn’t matter. I’m sure they’re prepared for the possibility of being captured, so we must likewise be prepared to capture and hold them.”</p><p>Armin’s eyes were glistening. He quietly excused himself as he gathered the plates from the table and the desk, taking them into the kitchen. You understood the pain he was feeling. Being betrayed by people you had considered closer than your own flesh and blood was a hollowing experience. It tore something inside a person, and the freshness of his wound was evident. You glared at Erwin, his straight face and steely gaze unwavering as you turned your attention to Hange. Their eyes met yours, sharing a sad grimace with you.</p><p>“It’s unavoidable at this juncture. They all know that …” they trailed off as they looked down at the map, “… even still, we have to press forward. This mission will secure the walls and bring us much need information about all of this,” they gestured to the window and the city beyond. You squeezed their arm once more before gathering up their and Erwin’s cups with your own. Levi placed his on the tray, his hands outstretched for the three in your hand, and carried the set back into the kitchen.</p><p>Erwin nodded. “However good this plan may seem, the situation on the ground is still an unknown, with few exceptions. Sealing the gates and protecting Eren until the basement is secured will be difficult, but this will be our third time meeting these shifters in battle. We at least have that advantage.”</p><p>Hange gathered the papers they had spread across the desk, placing them into a large leather portfolio. They moved to roll up the map of Shiganshina District when Erwin placed his hand on it. “Leave this for me.”</p><p>They nodded and turned to you. “What are your plans for the rest of the day? Care to make good on that promise you made before breakfast?!”</p><p>They punched you in the stomach, attempting to land an elbow across your jaw before you pushed it up in defense, moving behind them as you grabbed their wrist and pinned their arm against their lower back.</p><p>“Ooooo, Haaaaange you don’t want to see what digested sausage looks like, do you? Probably much the same as they did goin’ in, huh?” You chuckled as you released them, stepping back to prepare for another assault, your eyes bright and a wide grin as Hange’s excited face dodged and ducked in the exchange of blows. Erwin shook his head as he headed for the bedroom, Levi and Armin returning from the kitchen as he passed the threshold. Levi’s eyes followed after him for a moment before his attentions were drawn to you and Hange’s sparring.</p><p>“You’re both worse than Eren and Jean,” he grumbled.</p><p>“Hey, at least I LIKE [y/n]!” Hange countered.</p><p>“Awe, Hange, I didn’t know you had a crush on me!? Makes doing this,” you dodged their left jab as you reached behind their neck, your left leg hooking theirs to sweep it as you grabbed their collar, “feel a bit cheeky!” They began to fall, their descent slowed by you yanking up on their jacket and planting your left leg against their back, their ass hitting the ground with a soft ‘thump’.</p><p>“Ahh, that was cruel, but –” they reached overhead, grabbing the hem of your pants and yanking you over their shoulder, their legs flying up to lock your head and the arm you’d thrown out to catch yourself – “you practically threw yourself into my embrace, now dincha!”</p><p>Wild cackles of glee ripped out of you as you turned your shoulder towards their hip, snaking your free hand through their knees before wedging both elbows on the insides of their thighs and forcing their legs open enough to pull your head free. Your hair fell loose around your face, your eyes shining and your cheeks red as you turned to pounce on Hange; a strong arm circled under your left arm and around your throat, pulling you back roughly and pinning you against firm muscles. You looked up to see Levi’s face, staring at you in mild annoyance and… was that amusement? Pouting, you put your other arm up, signaling your surrender.</p><p>“I think the Captain is not amused, Hange. We can settle this later, you scoundrel,” you added with a swipe at their leg as they stood.</p><p>“If you make me dinner, you’ve got a deal. Oh! That’s a good idea! We should have dinner tonight, the four of us! I’ll drag Moblit along as well!” Hange dusted themselves off, eyes wide as they nodded at Levi hopefully. He tsked as he released his grip on you.</p><p>“I have a feeling we would be intruding on preexisting plans, Four Eyes,” he said brusquely.</p><p>“I think dinner would be enjoyable,” Erwin’s voice called as he emerged from the bedroom. He shook his head slowly, smiling at your tussled appearance. “Perhaps we can meet after sundown in the officer’s mess, if we don’t see one another in the city. It’s barely nine o’clock; that’s enough time to reset and relax. If you’d like to stay for another round of tea, I have no issues delaying my plans a little while longer.”</p><p>“No need to beat around the bush, Erwin; we’re leaving,” Levi stated as he grabbed Hange by the collar. Armin gathered the leather portfolio, nodding politely to you and Erwin as he followed a waving Hange. The door clicked closed as you turned to Erwin, his arm circling around your waist as he smiled. His eyes swept your face, taking in your sweaty brow and your flushed cheeks, the sparkle in your eyes as you beamed at him.</p><p>“I have another present for you.” He turned and took your hand, leading you into the bedroom. He stepped aside, revealing a dress laid out on the bed, a pair of soft cream-colored boots at the foot of the skirt. The dress was a deep vermillion, in the same style as the dress you’d worn out of the underground all those years prior, but the soft material was breathable. You recognized the craftsmanship, and it clicked.</p><p>“Hans brought this, when he brought that wedge to you, didn’t he?”</p><p>Erwin chuckled. “That he did. You know his handiwork well, it seems.”</p><p>You looked sidelong at him, noticing a slight twinkle in his eye. He took a seat on a chair in the corner of the room, just next to the door of the bedroom. You ran the material through your hands, marveling in its stiff yet bouncy quality. Other than the dress and the boots, there was no other clothing laid out, so you pulled your sack out of the closet, digging for the leather pouch you kept you under garments in. Placing a simple length of white material on the bed along with a pair of cotton underwear, you pulled off the shirt and fanned yourself with it.</p><p>“I feel foolish now for wrestling up a sweat. Why didn’t you tell me that there was a dress? I would have behaved…” He sighed from the chair, crossing his legs and propping his cheek on his hand. Tossing the shirt aside, you pulled out a comb and ran it through your hair, plaiting it quickly and tying the end up, tucking the tie off carefully inside and securing it with a few hairpins.</p><p>You thumbed the hem of the pants, and you remembered. “Erwin, these pants… they’re Levi’s, right?”</p><p>Erwin’s eyebrow lifted, slowly nodding. “He left them here a few weeks ago. He and Hange took it in turns to watch over me after my injury. Why do you ask? Did you think there was something else going on?” He smirked.</p><p>You gave him a piercing look, your tongue pressing into your jaw as you remembered the distinctly lustful look Erwin gave Levi upon first seeing him fight. Of course, that could have had more to do with Levi’s prowess with the maneuver gear. <em>Probably. </em>You pushed the pants down, stepping out of them without breaking eye contact.</p><p>“Levi’s an attractive man. And he’s a demon in battle. I expect the lines get blurred from time to time in the heat of the moment. Emotions raging during a fight, tensions high. You’ve taken lovers in the past, right?” Pulling on the underwear, you began wrapping the material around your ribcage, looping and tying as you crossed your breasts. Erwin’s eyes followed your movements closely.</p><p>“Yes, I have. But never from within the Corps. That would be beyond foolish. How could my corpsmen trust me if I were raking through the eligible women among them?”</p><p>You barked a laugh. “So, then. You’ve never considered a man? I mean, I’ve been with countless men and women; I wonder what you would do if you had the chance.” You walked over to him as you tossed one end of the material over your shoulder.</p><p>Erwin smiled wryly, looking down at the floor and then the dress, and finally the wedge. “I know you’ve been a prolific wolf, [y/n]. Perhaps that’s why,” you turned your back to him, allowing him to tuck the tail behind the wrappings along your back, securing a tie with one hand, “I could never justify claiming you for myself.”</p><p>You remembered the mention of a marriage proposal. <em>Maybe not just yet…</em> You sat in his lap, kicking your legs over the armrest and leaning back into his arm.</p><p>“You didn’t answer my question, though.” You grinned broadly; this was something you’d never asked him, and it intrigued you. He smirked again.</p><p>“I’d never thought about it, truthfully. But when Hans was insisting on demonstrating the usefulness of the wedge, how could I refuse such graciousness –”</p><p>You interrupted him with squeals and a smack on the chest as you laughed, mouth agape with surprise.</p><p>“Erwin! I can’t believe you! Hans is pure, innocent and –”</p><p>“Very beautiful, I can see why you liked him.”</p><p>“What? I’ve never… I never had sex with him! He was absolutely enamored with me, but after the business with the Lang company and Lobov I sent him to the Industrial City to apprentice one of the master journeymen. He was too talented to stay my lovesick tailor and coachman forever. That’s something we have in common.”</p><p>You pushed yourself out of his lap, taking the dress off the bed and wrapping it around yourself, tying it snug. The boots slipped on perfectly; Hans had practically memorized your proportions, and the idea of him giving himself to Erwin was powerfully erotic. Your cheeks flushed, heart fluttering as your skin tingled, steamy images of Hans moaning and Erwin buried inside him burning slowly inside you. <em>Odd, that this excites me, but the idea that Levi might have been with him pissed me off… I wonder why that is…</em></p><p>“Now that you’re ready,” Erwin stood and extended his hand towards the door, “shall we be off? We can start with the high collared shirt – ah, yes, he left this for you as well –” he pulled something out of his pocket, the black lace material shifting through his fingers – “and afterwards we can take a walk along the river.”</p><p>You nodded, taking the material from him and fastening the superbly measured collar down the back of your neck, the lace fanning out along your decolletage. Walking out of the quarters with your arm interlaced in his, you felt a lightness in your chest and quivering in your stomach. Curiosity and excitement permeated your limbs as the sunlight grew bright just beyond the doorway of the barracks, the day stretching before you like a winding road, its twists and turns yet unknown to you.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm editing this note, because I'm new to writing and I still haven't figured out how to plan chapters until I'm writing them. Heh-heh.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Reprieve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An eventful day in the city ends with a promise and a party.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You took most of the morning preparing for the evening’s meal and your official duties the next day, having been measured for a new uniform shirt with a high-collar and then coordinating with a few vendors in the market for a few hands to help with dinner. Dispatching a messenger from the post office to Hange with the time to arrive, you pulled Erwin along in the direction of the river, happiness radiating through your limbs as you trotted in front of him. He had made idle chat with various people as you led the way through each activity, playing the role of a doting husband who dutifully followed his vigorous wife around the city for a few hours, and the two of you were heading to your last request for the day; the tea shop where you had purchased the barley tea the day before.</p><p>The river came into view as Erwin finished his moving story about the tailor’s daughter, a young woman with hair blacker than coal and soft as silk, and how she had kept him company on the nights Levi and Hange were absent. You had sighed and awed at each turn of events, from her offering to escort him to his quarters to carry his market items, to sharing a sweet kiss on the couch over tea. She hadn’t been able to enjoy the specifically designed wedge, but she had served as the impetus for commissioning it. Erwin’s eyes were shining as he told you of her desire to become a master dressmaker in Mitras, and you smiled at the unveiled display of affection.</p><p>Continuing the role play, you coquettishly batted your eyes at him as you stopped in front of the shop, pressing your hand into his chest.</p><p>“Darling, I will order us a pot of her finest tea and a few of her sweets, we should sit outside and enjoy the view of the water. Don’t you agree?”</p><p>Erwin blushed lightly as he smiled, shaking his head slightly as his hand stroked your cheek. “Whatever you say, my love.” He was, for his part, indulging in the fantasy as well. You turned with a flip of the skirt, still smiling as you entered the shop.</p><hr/><p>Levi had found the tea shop a few days prior, having run out of his own supply of green tea and deciding against retrieving the tin he had left in Erwin’s quarters. He knew that Hange would drag him to the dinner that night, whether he was hungry or not, and he wanted to enjoy some time to himself with a cup of tea. Emine, the woman who ran the shop, had a fantastic sense for brewing the perfect cup.</p><p>As he rounded the corner, he saw Erwin’s unmistakable form, with a woman in a deep red dress. <em>Fuck, I didn’t think Erwin could be so cold-blooded as to take another woman – </em>Levi stopped mid-step as the woman turned to face Erwin and smiled, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks pink.</p><p>Everything about her was different from the woman whose throat he struggled not to slit the night before, and yet she was the very woman that forced him to eat breakfast before the meeting a few hours before. <em>Forced… is a strong way to put it, considering those eggs. I’ll have to ask her how she does that... </em></p><p>Erwin’s hand caressed her face. As Levi saw her face soften, a feeling rose inside him. It was as though someone was stroking him with a feather-soft touch, moving gently around his core. He shook his head, looking across the river as she entered the shop. He called out to Erwin as he pushed the feeling away as hard as he could.</p><hr/><p>“I don’t give a DAMN what you want, your father promised you to me before his death, and you’re not backing out of this; I’ll drag you kicking and screaming by the hair, you little bitch!”</p><p>Your eyes were wide, having entered the shop to see the pretty shop owner on her knees, her hands clawing in vain at the large arm around her throat as a large, rather handsome man had her in a strangle hold. You cleared your throat loudly, your anger rising as your face relaxed into a languid mask of calm. The man’s head whipped up, his eyes bulging as he tightened his grip. The woman’s face was turning red, her tearful eyes pleading for help. You looked at her for a few moments, and then looked at him.</p><p>“You’re hurting my pretty little quarry.”</p><p>His face contorted in a mixture of confusion and furry as he released her, kicking her aside. The anger in your chest spiked, but your face remained passive. He moved towards you.</p><p>“And just who the fuck are you, you nosey cu-”</p><p>You gathered the ends of the dress, pulling them apart like a stage curtain as you closed the distance; his eyes slid down to your thighs as the heel of your boot caught him in the chin, sending him stumbling back into the counter. It wasn’t enough to take him down, though, and he was quickly pushing himself off the counter, sputtering curses through the blood pouring through his fingers.</p><p>Your expression unhurried, you sidestepped as he launched himself at you, the breeze lifting the small hairs along your hairline; you spun and landed another kick, this time to the back of his knee, bringing him to the floor. You turned to the woman, who had retreated to the back and returned with a knife, her face twisting with anger, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at her attacker with unbridled hatred. You extended your hand to her, gesturing for the knife.</p><p>“Give that here, you’ll be useless with it.”</p><p>She looked at you as though she had forgotten you were there, the anger dissipating as she passed the knife to you with a shaky hand. The man was starting to push himself up as you grabbed him by the hair on the back of his head, planting your knee in his back and bending him back aggressively; you dragged the knife down his cheek, opening a shallow cut before pressing the back of the blade into his neck. His eyes were wide with fear and disgust as you licked your teeth.</p><p>“Now, now, now… you don’t want to keep struggling and get blood all over the place, do you? Mind, this dress wouldn’t show it, considering how close the color is already. I suppose I could open your neck and paint some pretty patterns on the floor, though. Your choice.”</p><p>“You can’t do this to me! I am in the merchant’s guild, I can have you arrested, beaten and raped until your legs no longer work, you stupid – AAAHH!!” His scream interrupted his tirade as you pulled the knife hard across his throat, your eyes bright as you bared your teeth and laughed.</p><p>“OH-HO! Such an important man! Did I offend you?” You pressed the knife blade to his throat, clenching your teeth and drawing a deep breath as you growled, “this time, though, if you say anything I don’t like, <em>I will slice you open like the pig you are.</em>”</p><p>The sound of the door opening drew his attention, and you looked up to see Levi standing in the doorway, Erwin behind him.</p><p>“What the fuck is going on here?” Levi’s eyebrow was raised as he curled his lip at the blood trail and the bloodied man in your grip.</p><p>“You mean, ‘what the fuck is going on here, <em>Sergeant-At-Arms</em>’, don’t you <em>Captain Levi</em>?” You snarled in response. Erwin moved past Levi to the young woman, who was trembling and crying silently by the counter. Levi moved next to the man, looking down at him as though he were something unpleasant on his boot.</p><p>“What did this unfortunate bastard do?”</p><p>You chuckled, twirling the knife in your hand as you pulled his hair tighter. “He laid hands on the shop keeper. I can glean that there was some arrangement before her father died; isn’t that right, piggy?” You yanked on his hair, prompting him to cry out.</p><p>“That’s right, she’s intended to be my bride, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do about that! It was agreed upon in front of the Church of the Walls, and no one can undo that; especially not meddlesome whores like <em>you!</em>” He screwed up his mouth, intending to spit at you, but Levi clapped one hand over his mouth and screwed the other into the hair on top of his head. His grey eyes were intense, boring into the man’s as he hissed through clenched teeth.</p><p>“Swallow it, you filthy prick.”</p><p>You watched his face for a moment, reveling in his venomous tone before turning your attentions back to the now trembling man.</p><p>“Back to the matter at hand. Whatever arrangement you thought you had is now moot if I say it is. I don’t think she wants to marry you. There’s a new monarch on the throne, meaning a new head of the church. She wouldn’t like knowing that a free woman in her kingdom was dragged ‘kicking and screaming’ to the altar, and undoubtedly her divine retribution will be swift if you persist in violating one of her fairer subjects. Understood?”</p><p>His eyes were burning with hate. You knew he would come back, it was only a matter of time. You looked at Erwin and the woman, who was resting her head on his chest as he looked on; she looked utterly spent. You looked back at the man, releasing his hair and pushing him forward onto his hands. Levi stepped to the side to allow him room to stand, crossing his arms as he watched the man brush himself off.</p><p>“Emine, I’ll be back. I won’t stand for this level of impertinence from you again.”</p><p>You cocked an eyebrow and twirled the knife in your hand. “If you come near her again, I give you my word as the right hand of Her Majesty, Queen Historia; I will deliver justice with the full weight of the Crown’s authority.”</p><p>He snarled as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, pressing it into his cheek as he left the shop. Levi watched him walk off down the river before he spoke.</p><p>“I can’t decide if that was an abuse of power or an appropriate show of force. You might have stirred up trouble for yourself with that.”</p><p>You hummed as you looked him up and down.</p><p>“And yet you didn’t hesitate to provide me support. Which I do appreciate; although I’m quite confident in my skills, I don’t have my preferred tools, and this dress is rather special. Oh, and look!” You lifted the hem of the dress as you spun, kicking your heel up behind you. “I didn’t get a drop of blood on it!”</p><p>Levi’s eyes were moving slowly up your body, his bottom lip open just enough to show the tip of his tongue slowing tracing the point of his eyetooth. He snapped his jaw shut as his eyes met yours, turning his head to stare out at the river once more. <em>Like what you see, Captain? </em>You smirked as you turned to Emine and Erwin.</p><p>“Emine, are you –” Your question was cut short by her launching herself, sobbing, into your arms. She wrapped herself around you, pressing her face in your shoulder as her hot tears spilled down your chest, her hands griping your back as though she would fall if she let go. Her words came in choked spurts.</p><p>“If you – hadn’t arrived wh – when you did – he would have – <em>murdered me</em>, I’m sure o – of it.” She looked up at you, her golden eyes shimmering and her cheeks red. You smiled down at her, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. Erwin smiled softly as you met his eyes.</p><p>“Emine, I’m glad I was here. I have a plan to ensure that you’re safe. For now, I need you to close up the shop and go where I tell you to go; can you do that for me?”</p><p>She nodded, her eyes crinkling as she sobbed harder. You held her like that for a minute more, before pushing her gently back. She reluctantly let go, looking down at the floor, and you were struck by how young she must have been; early twenties at the most. She turned and disappeared into the back. Erwin pursed his lips and sighed.</p><p>“Never a dull moment with you, is it?”</p><p>“I suppose trouble always has a way of finding me,” you chuckled in response, smirking as you looked over at Levi. He had moved to the shelves of tea behind the counter, reading the labels until he found what he was looking for. Erwin nodded as he extended his arm to you; the intensity of the fight was dying out, and you felt warm and relaxed as you folded yourself into him.</p><p>“Once she is off, I’d like to take you on a ride somewhere,” he whispered into your ear. You hummed your assent, resting your head on his shoulder with your eye on the doorway to the back. Levi passed into your peripheral vision and you shifted your gaze to him; he had a tin in his hand as he walked into the back.</p><p>A few minutes later, he emerged with a tray of four steaming cups, Emine behind him. He set the tray on the counter, careful to avoid the bloody area. She had a small bag that she set on the floor behind the counter, taking the cup that Levi offered her; her hands were no longer shaking. Levi looked sternly at you and Erwin.</p><p>“I came here for a cup of tea, and I intend to have one. I’ll just have to tolerate you two while I do.”</p><p>Erwin chuckled as he took a cup, and you followed suit. The black tea was robust, with a woodiness that tasted like a fire smelled. It brought you back to that clearing in the woods, where the reeking tree corpse resided. You sipped it quietly, closing your eyes and breathing in the memory.</p><hr/><p>Levi offered to clean as Erwin hailed a carriage from the back of the shop. He couldn’t stand the idea of the tea shop having a stinking, putrid mess permeating the wares on the shelves for however many days it would be closed. He wanted to make sure that Emine was safe as well. The Sergeant protested, but he pushed her towards Erwin as he chided her, growling about the ease of escorting Emine to the lodge where [y/n] had a room.</p><p>Erwin nodded in appreciation, waiting at the door of the carriage for the hugging women to break free of each other, offering his hand to [y/n] as she alighted swiftly. Levi watched the carriage for a moment before gathering the cleaning supplies and beginning his work. The man that [y/n] easily handled had pissed him off. Demanding that Emine follow through with an unwanted marriage, trying to spit on the Sergeant, generally bleeding everywhere and continuing his arrogant bullshit; Flegel was going to get an earful about the members of the guild that his father had upheld.</p><p>The color of the blood on the rag was deep, almost the color of the dress she had been wearing. As he wrung it out in one of the buckets, the memory of her face as she hovered over that asshole flashed in his mind. Eyes relaxed and zeroed in on his neck, her teeth had glistened where her tongue had swiped across them. She was like a wolf readying for the kill, her air intense and terrifying. The picture of delicate black lace around her neck and the deep cut of her bodice, revealing a white binding that reminded him of the silky material he’d felt on her the night before, brought up a heat in his chest as he scrubbed the floor. Emine was busy taking stock and securing the various windows and doors around the shop, so he indulged in the memory as he cleaned.</p><p>The way she had spun in front of him, the bouncy material shifting across her hips and ass as her waist twisted, was so feminine and sweet. The juxtaposition to the murderess minutes before should have been strange, but instead it gave his mind an unfurling stream of possibility. She could switch between aggressive and yielding with ease, reading the situation in the moment. Even last night, she had withstood his violence admirably, accepting his retribution without complaint. He had wanted to kill her, to tear her apart with his hands in those seconds before kicking her to the ground. But when he was on top of her, his hand in her hair, the flash of her flesh and the dark musk curling into his nose had changed his desires.</p><p>He had still wanted to punish her; but more than that, he had wanted to subjugate her on that floor, to destroy the cool dominance with which she moved. Her face, twisting in agonizing ecstasy, then softening into the smile he’d seen her give Erwin, those teeth biting her lower lip as her cheeks blushed… the dark scene in his mind felt real and just within his reach. He shivered as he pulled a clean rag across the last area of blood.</p><p>Emine returned to the front, calling to him as she held her bag close. He gathered the supplies, rinsing and returning them to their proper locations before ushering Emine out of the back door, a wary eye to each street corner as she locked the door behind her. The heat dissipated from his chest as he set his mind to the task at hand.</p><hr/><p>You held Erwin’s hand as the carriage trundled along, closing your eyes as the breeze changed to the cooler air of the land beyond the inner gate. Birds chirping in the distance, the sound of the horse and the wheels of the carriage coupled with the rustling of the curtains were the only sounds for quite some time. Your happy reverie was eventually disturbed by Erwin’s deep voice.</p><p>“This may be the last time I can enjoy my time within these walls, with such a carefree mind.”</p><p>You looked up at his face; there was an air of excitement about him, and you knew his mind was already in Shiganshina. <em>Not yet, please...</em> You stroked his arm, your heart clenching anxiously in the shadow of tomorrow.</p><p>“Erwin, please; let’s just enjoy this. Although,” you furrowed your brows as he looked over at you, “I suppose you make a good point. How could you possibly maintain any previous pretenses when you learn about the outside world? Any common fantasy would seem a paltry facsimile if it’s within the walls.”</p><p>A cold feeling bloomed in your chest, sadness tightening around your ribs as your face fell. Erwin stroked your leg, staring at the patterns his fingers made across the fabric.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to break the spell;” he said gently, “one’s own mortality has a way of overshadowing everything.”</p><p>“Mortality? There’s no guarantee that you’ll die in Shiganshina, unless you’re intending to make a martyr of yourself. Which I <em>highly doubt.</em>” You traced the veins on his hand, running your fingertips along his ring finger. “Erwin, when did my father offer my hand to you?”</p><p>“Oh. It was… we must have been around 19 or 20 years old. I had already made the decision to pursue the Survey Corps.”</p><p>“And to not marry Marie, right? Must have been an easy decision to dismiss my father so readily then,” you bristled, crossing your arms. It seemed to be a silly reason to be angry, but the thought of him considering marriage to anyone else lit a fire inside of you. He smiled broadly, shaking his head. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, but you pushed him away, tension rising in your chest. The bastard was perfectly comfortable playing the role of husband when he could have assumed the duties officially years ago, and it irked you. He laughed as he pulled you tight to him.</p><p>“Your jealousy is something I don’t understand. Your father wrote to me shortly after he sent you north of Wall Sheena. He said you were suffering, and that he feared for your happiness. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he didn’t approve of a lowly Corpsman marrying his only daughter, but he was certain I would rise to a respectable rank and earn the right to call him my father-in-law.” He rolled his eyes. “It came as a surprise, and an unexpected hurdle just after I had decided to join the Survey Corps. But ultimately, I thought it would be better for your happiness not to be shackled to a man whose purpose had become…”</p><p>He trailed off as the carriage pulled to a stop. Helping you down the steps, he paid the coachman and asked him to wait. Grabbing your hand, he steered you towards a line of trees off the road, lining the banks of the river. You walked silently, looking around at the flowers and squinting through the leaves overhead. Every so often, he turned to look at you, smiling as he did. After ten minutes of walking through the increasingly dense forest, a small clearing opened ahead of you.</p><p>The ground sloped down gently, and as you looked down into the clearing you saw a tree stump. Your face lit up, gasping in surprise at the familiar inky-black pool of liquid in the core of the massive trunk. You pulled ahead of Erwin, jogging down to the edge of the trunk and dipping your hand in, the thick consistency like honey clinging to your hand. The smell was similar, though more smokey than musky; but the same fetid undertone was there, causing your nose to scrunch up.</p><p>“You haven’t changed much after all.” Erwin’s hand was in his pocket as he strolled up next to you. The memory of trying to touch him with the sap bubbled inside you, and your eyes glinted mischievously. He caught the look just as you pulled your hand out of the sludge, but instead of backing away he brought his hand up to meet yours, clasping it and weaving his fingers between yours. You blushed as you looked down at your feet; the familiarity of the scene brought back a little of the girl you were that day.</p><p>He pulled your hands down to his side, the motion drawing you closer as his lips parted. Excited, you closed your eyes and pressed yourself against him, kissing him gently and then deeply as you pulled him tight. Nothing else existed in that moment. Only the sensation of your hands squeezing, the warmth of his chest against you and the pure bliss of his lips on yours mattered. As he broke the kiss, you opened your eyes.</p><p>His bright, dazzlingly blue eyes were soft and glistening, pain and joy swirling in their depths. He searched your face quietly as the sound of the river rushing along floated in the air. After a while, he spoke.</p><p>“No matter what truths I find in that basement, I will find my way back to you. I was foolish for turning down your father’s proposal, selfish in my mindset. I want to finally put to rest this burning crusade and find a way to justify all the death that led to this. Otherwise, how can I ever hope to repay them all? If that’s even possible ...”</p><p>You saw the pain in his face as he looked past you at something you couldn’t see. Turning towards the river you pulled on his hand, leading him down to and along the bank until you found a spot where you could reach the water. Washing both of your hands, you dried them on your skirt and brought his to your lips. Closing your eyes and inhaling deeply, your voice was soft as you spoke.</p><p>“Come back to me. I know you’re a selfish, single-minded bastard. But I couldn’t excuse the last 20 years if you didn’t live through this mission. No matter what truths you find, I promise to make every day an adventure; I’ll even join you outside the walls. Make an honest woman of me, that’s all I ask.”</p><p>Erwin’s face was still in anguish, but he nodded as he closed his fingers around yours. “It would be my honor.”</p><p> </p><p>The dinner was simple; braised soft cheeses and stone fruit jellies on a bed of herbs and greens, followed by a mushroom-filled pasta and a white wine cream sauce. As you briefed the three you’d been able to enlist as kitchen staff, you felt eyes on you as Hange and Moblit arrived, lugging a cask of the mead from the night before with them.</p><p>“My, my, [Y/n], I see you’ve wasted no time. Do you want any more help? I can roll up my sleeves,” Hange offered as they heaved the cask onto a sideboard, Moblit going through cabinets to find a tap. You considered them seriously for a moment, adjusting your apron before nodding.</p><p>“Sure, Hange; you can wash and dry that basket of berries. And <em>don’t you dare sneak any,</em>” you hissed at them. They snapped to a salute, hollering ‘<em>UNDERSTOOD!’</em> before turning to the basket with bright eyes. Moblit smacked their hand a few seconds later, throwing an exasperated look your way as you laughed.</p><p>The heat of the range and the oven and the staff yelling their acknowledgement of your orders blocked out everything for the next thirty minutes. You focused your efforts on the pasta, knowing that its consistency would be the most critical aspect of the main dish, cracking the eggs into the little mountain of flour and mixing water in every so often.</p><p>You looked up at the entrance to the dining hall, the same door you had followed Levi through to see the very man himself, arms crossed as he leaned against the frame and surveyed the controlled chaos before him. His lips twitched as he laid eyes on you, as though the sight of you in an apron and chefs coat was comical. Rolling your eyes, you smiled back and shouted over the din.</p><p>“Sorry, Captain, no time for tea. I ask that you keep the Commander and Moblit company. Unless you want to make sure Hange isn’t stealing the main part of the dessert.”</p><p>Hange protested from the sink, shaking the empty basket at you as Levi put his hands up, backing out of the doorway and disappearing into the hall beyond.</p><p>As the finishing touches went on, you and the staff whisked the plates out to the table, Hange having already joined the group. Sweaty but satisfied, you reveled in the wide eyes of the small party, particularly chuffed by Levi’s faint smile. As you turned to retreat into the kitchen again, Hange called out.</p><p>“Hey, hey, HEY! You must come out here and eat with us! This isn’t a restaurant, it’s a dinner party, and we can’t enjoy it without you!” They had a pleading look about them, and you sighed with a smile, untying your apron to a roar of victory from the table. Moblit had kept everyone’s tankards full while the meal was being prepared, and even Erwin’s stoicism was cracking.</p><p>The staff returned to the kitchen at first, until you called them in, telling them to bring their plates and glasses. You had, per usual, ordered way more food than had been necessary for the night, and there was more than enough for all of you. The conversations were loud and raucous after the first dish was finished, the three helpers clearing the dishes with pink cheeks and wide grins and returning to the kitchen. You followed them, intent on ensuring safe delivery of the main course to the table.</p><p>Moblit nearly cried as he ate the pasta, asking for a spoon to have more of the sauce. Hange nodded in dramatic agreement, and they slung their arms over each other’s shoulders as they broke into a love song, serenading you as you laughed. Levi was in deep conversation with one of the staff, on his third tankard but showing no signs of inebriation.</p><p>The dessert that followed, an intricately decorated short-crust pastry with a sweet custard and berries, brought real tears to Hange’s eyes as they exclaimed in excitement. Shaking your head, you sipped on water as you leaned back on Erwin’s shoulder. He turned his head, his lips grazing your ear as he murmured.</p><p>“You truly are amazing for putting this together so quickly. I can’t imagine a better way to relax before tomorrow.”</p><p>You smirked as you pointed at the tankard. “I’m sure you’ll sleep well tonight, isn’t that your second of the night? And where the hell did Moblit find these huge things?”</p><p>“Ah? You’re not going to tell me that I owe you for this?”</p><p>You look up at him, suddenly wistful. His eyes were merry as he smiled, the heat of the mead working through him. Your right hand reached up to stroke his cheek and he leaned into you, his arm cradling you as his hand cupped your jaw and pulled you into a sensuous kiss, his tongue rubbing slowly across yours as he pressed his lips into yours. A whistle and a slowly increasing ‘<em>oooooh!’ </em>issued across the table, and you smiled into the kiss as you broke it, blushing furiously.</p><p>“Your payment will come later,” you whispered as you smiled up at him. Looking satisfied with himself, he withdrew his arm to raise a toast to you. Hange and Moblit were now arm in arm with one of the staff, rosy-cheeked and smiling as they all raised their tankards while the other two began clearing away the empty plates.</p><p>Levi’s arm lifted as well, and you looked over at him. His eyes were clear and piercing as he focused on you, his ravenous expression unmistakable as he toasted your health, drawing out your name huskily before taking a sip from his tankard as he held your gaze. You tore your eyes away from him as your cheeks burned, scanning the others to see if any of them had noticed the silent advance, but they were effusively toasting the three staff members. You shot him a baffled look, but his attentions were on the toast, lifting his drink high and smirking as he took a sip.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Revelry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An early morning cup of tea with Levi before she learns about the man that attacked Emine, and a bittersweet goodbye before the mission begins.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Psuedo-smut. This is ... I was a little bit of wreck.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You woke early, gently climbing over Erwin’s sleeping body and heading into the bathroom as the sky purpled with the coming dawn. There were a few tasks you needed to deal with, to ensure Emine’s safety as well as get a better grasp on the situation throughout the most turbulent district within the walls.</p><p>He stirred as you pulled your black slacks on and fastened a single knife holster to your left thigh. You looked over to see his sleepy blue eyes following your movements as you buttoned the high-collared shirt and tucked it into your slacks.</p><p>“Where are you running off to so early?” His arm pushed the covers down, gasping a little at the cold morning air. He looked down at his naked body and snorted. “When did I take my clothes off?”</p><p>Laughing, you sat next to him on the bed as you combed your hair. “I stripped you and bathed you last night as you sang old training cadences. It was obnoxious and wonderful.”</p><p>“Mmm, did you take advantage of me in my state of vulnerability?”</p><p>“Of course… not. I am a woman of valor, you know.”</p><p>He gave you a sarcastic, knowing expression as he nodded and pulled you down for a soft kiss. You twisted to nestle beside him, sliding your legs under the covers as he locked them up with his own. He ran his fingers through your hair, twirling the strands a few times and tugging the roots gently. You felt sleep closing around you as you squeezed your legs around his a few times.</p><p>“Ah, if I stay here I won’t move again.” You pushed against him as his arm circled over you, pulling you tight.</p><p>“Then stay.” His leg popped up over your hip and pulled you tight like a serpent. You grabbed his ass cheek, pulling his hips into you as you squeezed the flesh. He hummed deep in his chest as he rocked his hips against you, his growing erection pressing into your stomach.</p><p>“Argh, Erwin… there’s information I need, for Emine’s sake. And I must move her somewhere more secure. I’ll be back well before you leave, make no mistake.”</p><p>He grunted in acknowledgment, holding onto you for a few seconds longer before withdrawing his arm and legs. “I’ll hunt you down if you’re not back here before mid-day,” he grumbled before turning over. You pulled the covers up to his neck with a smile before pulling your hair back, slipping your boots and jacket on and heading out.</p><p>Walking through the halls of the officer’s quarters felt lonely as the soft sound of your boots echoed around you. A garrison Soldier with ashen blond hair rounded the corner in front of you, and he jumped slightly as you cleared your throat.</p><p>“Soldier, can you direct me to Captain Levi’s quarters?”</p><p>“Ah, yes… Miss…?”</p><p>“Sergeant.”</p><p>“AH! Yes! Right this way.”</p><p>He turned to head in the direction he had just come from, a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. You followed him for a minute or two, arriving at a door to an exterior room. He snapped to a salute before turning on his heel and hastily making his exit down the hallway. <em>Peculiar…</em></p><p>You rapped your knuckles a few times on the door, listening for sounds of movement. Hearing nothing, you raised your hand again as the door whipped open.</p><p>“<em>WHAT. COULD ANYONE WANT- </em>Oh, it’s you.”</p><p>Mouth agape, you cocked an eyebrow and barked a laugh. Levi looked haggard, barefoot with his shirt unbuttoned to his sternum, hair disheveled and belt undone. “Surely you don’t have a hangover. I thought the indomitable Captain held his drink better than that!”</p><p>“No, I don’t have a hangover, but I was finally asleep,” he growled as he fastened his belt and slipped on a pair of slippers.</p><p>“Oh? Little late for that, isn’t it? Considering, you know,” you pointed over his shoulder through the large windows at the faint pink hue in the sky.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, he worked his jaw for a moment. “<em>Sergeant…</em> What can I do for you?”</p><p>“Now THAT’S a proper response, Captain. May I come in?”</p><p>He stared at you for almost a full minute with his hand on the door before sighing in exasperation and standing to the side.</p><p>The room was much smaller than Erwin’s. The bed in the corner behind the door looked tidy and untouched, while the desk along the wall beyond it was covered in gear and cleaning equipment, a small teapot sitting near the edge of the desk.</p><p>A small couch was positioned facing the bank of windows directly opposite the door, and next to it was an equally small side table where you saw a plate with a stale hunk of bread and a teacup.</p><p>“Levi… were you really sleeping? That bed is perfectly made.”</p><p>He bristled as he turned towards you. “Are you here to lecture me? You do realize I know how to take care of myself, right?”</p><p>You raised your hands in surrender. “I’ll get to the point. I know the Corps steps off this evening, but I need to find the merchants guild master today. I think we both know that Emine won’t be safe unless I find the man that attacked her yesterday.”</p><p>Levi was lighting a burner under a kettle on a small stove. He looked out over the range at the lightening sky, his jaw tight. “I know. There is someone I can introduce you to, but after that I have to prepare for this evenings movement.”</p><p>You nodded, taking a seat at the couch. “While I’m here, I wanted to ask again about the request I made the other night.”</p><p>He collected the plate and the teacup and brought them to an equally miniscule sink, setting the bread aside as he washed. You watched him, wondering when he was going to respond.</p><p>His back muscles worked under the thin material as he rinsed and set the plate and a few cups on a draining board. A faint heat rose in your chest as you watched him retrieve the tea pot from the desk, marking the shape of his eyes and the line of his neck as he passed. His gravelly voice murmured over the sound of water as he rinsed the pot.</p><p>“What about it.”</p><p>“I… know that you care for Erwin. Despite the initial introduction. And – ”</p><p>“[Y/n], I’m not going to make decisions based on you or your relationship with the Commander. Or mine, for that matter. If the time comes to use the serum, I will make the decision based on the situation. That’s the best answer I can give you.”</p><p>His use of your name stunned you, and you swallowed your next words. You wanted to tell him that you had answered his question, and that there was hope for the future if only he would safeguard it. Instead, you pressed your lips together, crossing your legs and staring out the window as the kettle began to steam.</p><p>He shook the pot out and prepared a basket of tea, pouring the hot water over the leaves. Shooting a look at you, he grabbed two cups from the draining board.</p><p>“I take it you’ll have a cup, <em>while you’re here.</em>” He slung the small side table around to the front of the couch, setting the cups down delicately.</p><p>You watched him with a raised eyebrow as he opened one of the windows, taking the husk of bread and crumbling it along the ledge.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“Feeding the birds; what else would I be doing, putting bread on the windowsill? Maybe you <em>are</em> too stupid for this job…” he added in a hushed voice, smirking as he dusted his hands and closed the window.</p><p>You chuckled and shook your head; in the months that you had sat in meetings about security and policy changes, the discussion of how to clear and secure the underground were the most fascinating. Levi had been a powerful voice at the table, deferential to the Queen but forceful in his vision.</p><p>He limited his presence to those meetings, and he would always leave swiftly afterwards. There was no indication that his interest in the capital extended beyond assisting Queen Historia and planning for the rescue of those in whom he could see himself. The last few days had broadened your perspective of him as a person, and a man.</p><p>He poured the tea and set the pot aside, sitting next to you with his back to the arm rest, one bent knee on the cushions while the other leg stretched out on the floor towards your feet. You shifted slightly as his knee pressed against your thigh on the small couch. As he reached for his cup, you looked down his still-open shirt to see rippling muscles and the faint outline of his nipple; you let out a controlled breath.</p><p>“Sergeant, you okay? Sounds like you’re having trouble. Maybe you should drink your tea and relax.” His eyes bored into yours as he sat back, face emotionless as his cup hung from his fingertips. He flexed his hips, pressing his knee deeper into your thigh, his outstretched foot brushing against your ankle. You cleared your throat.</p><p>“Perhaps I’d fair better if you weren’t being such a flagrant tease, Captain.” You reached for your cup, the steam curling lightly in the air as you sat back and stared out the window.</p><p>“What can I say, I’m a man of many talents.”</p><p>“I’ll bet you are,” you whispered as you swished the tea around gently. You felt him shift in his seat, and you looked.</p><p>His head was tilted to the side as he stared at you, eyes unfocused and lips parted. The look was soft and hungry, and as he brought a finger to touch his bottom lip you grit your teeth. The heat in your chest was twisting like a thick vine into your stomach, and you felt yourself grow tight.</p><p>Levi began sipping his tea, and you followed suit, tearing your eyes away from him. The sweetness surprised you, and you looked at the cup before looking back at him with surprise. He cocked an eyebrow.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“This doesn’t have honey in it, right?”</p><p>“No, why?”</p><p>“It’s slightly sweet.”</p><p>“Because it’s made properly. Green tea doesn’t need to be boiled to death. Take the kettle off before it starts to sing, and the tea won’t be scalded.”</p><p>You nodded, tipping your head as you raised your cup in gratitude; he raised his as well.</p><hr/><p>Levi’s rapport with the portly young Flegel was genial and sincere, and you marveled at the difference in affect from his work in the capital. You leaned against the wall, arms crossed as you watched the two of them smile and chuckle back and forth.</p><p>“Of course, I knew you’d need meat before such a big mission! Which is why I’ve been fattening up calves for the last couple of months. It’ll all be worth it in the end, Levi.” Flegel clapped him on the shoulder as he smiled, sighing contentedly. Levi returned his smile, his eyes relaxed and warm.</p><p>“It will be. Now, I need to know something about a member of your father’s guild. Tall guy, too handsome for his shitty attitude, with a penchant for slinging insults and assaulting women.”</p><p>“That’s a bit vague, Levi.”</p><p>You shifted to your feet and approached him. “Then how about this, Mr. Reeves. A man assaulted a young tea shop owner yesterday, claiming that she would be married to him whether she liked it or not, all because he had a contract blessed by the Church of the Wall. Ring any bells?”</p><p>Flegel’s hand rubbed the back of his neck as he grimaced, the look of embarrassment written across his features. “Yeah, I know him. He’s not a local merchant, thinks of himself as better than because most of his clients are in Mitras. He’s a wine merchant, his grapes are some of the best. Michaelis Forster.”</p><p>Levi’s face registered surprise, and he furrowed his brow in thought. “Does he happen to have family in the training corps?”</p><p>Flegel shrugged. “’S not impossible. I think he has a sister, or had one, she might have a kid.”</p><p>“When did he arrive in town?” you redirected.</p><p>Flegel moved to a small desk with scattered paperwork, grabbing a register and flipping through it. He tapped the page as he set the register down. “All members of the guild are required to register their entry into the different districts, in the event there’s a dispute about trade agreements or accusations of moving in on someone’s clients unfairly. Looks like he arrived to establish new trade relations with remaining restaurateurs two days ago.”</p><p>You came around the desk to look over his shoulder, your wrists crossed behind your back as you scoured the page. “Does it say where he’s staying?”</p><p>Flegel pointed to the opposite page, where the name of an inn near the inner gate was written in tidy handwriting.</p><p>Three other names were written under the column labeled ‘party’. You tapped them. “Are these names the people that are with him?” Flegel nodded.</p><p>You turned to Levi, who was sitting cross-legged in the corner of a couch in the middle of the room. He raised an eyebrow in question.</p><p>“This isn’t a task I’ll be able to take on by myself after all. I may need your further assistance when you return from Shiganshina, if this is going to be a bloodless affair.”</p><p>“How many people does he have?”</p><p>“Three, all men. Unsurprisingly.”</p><p>“I suppose I could give you more of my precious time, for a price.”</p><p>You cocked an eyebrow. Flegel looked surreptitiously between the two of you as he ordered the papers on his desk.</p><p>Levi stood, straightening his jacket and walking towards you, the corner of his mouth twitching. You leaned a hip against the side of the desk, crossing your arms and jutting out your jaw as he stopped directly in front of you. Leaning in, he whispered.</p><p>“Cook for me again.”</p><p>Flegel coughed, clearing his throat loudly as he adjusted his collar. You ignored him and the rising heat in your chest, looking Levi up and down.</p><p>He stared you down, his expression placid. "In my quarters this time. I'd like to be able to enjoy your talents in peace. Unless there's something stopping you from fulfilling such a request?"</p><p>
  <em>What is he playing at? </em>
</p><p>He cocked an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes as he waited for your response. You licked your lips and pulled the lower lip between your teeth, sucking on it for a moment before answering.</p><p>“Fine. Dinner, or breakfast?”</p><p>“Ideally both... but I’ll settle for another round of those eggs.”</p><p>Smiling softly, you shook your head as you turned back to Flegel, who looked up innocently from his paperwork. “I need to ask a favor of you as well. The young woman who was targeted by this Michaelis needs a more secure location until Captain Levi and I can resolve this. Could I impose on your family for a few days; I’ll ensure you’ll be compensated appropriately.”</p><p>He nodded, raising his hands in protest. “No need for that, the girl is welcomed here. It’s the least I can do, as the head of the Reeves Company and the merchants guild.”</p><p>
  <em>Damn right it is. You could have done something before this, too, you son of a bitch.</em>
</p><p>Nodding your head, you extended your hand and shook Flegel’s firmly, pulling him in as you said lowly, “Expect me to make regular visits to discuss the remaining members of this guild, Mr. Reeves.” He smiled nervously, turning away swiftly to shake Levi’s hand.</p><p>You followed Levi to the door, stepping through as he held it open into the sunlight. You stretched your arms overhead, a yawn forcing its way out as your legs twitched and shuddered. Turning to Levi, you extended your hand again. He looked at it for a second before taking it.</p><p>“Come back alive, please.”</p><p>He snorted in response, squeezing your hand softly before dropping it and turning with a wave.</p><hr/><p>After you bid Levi farewell, you made your way to the riverside lodge where Emine was. The innkeeper smiled warmly at you, and you made a mental note to question him about the stable boy that had cared so diligently for your steed as you made you way to the room.</p><p>Knocking lightly, you called to Emine. “It’s me, [y/n].”</p><p>The door cracked and a golden eye peeked around it. As the door opened fully, you smiled at the scantily clad woman in the doorway; Emine’s night clothing was little more than a long, thin cotton shirt that gathered gently at the waist.</p><p>As she pulled you through the door you took a good look at her face; red patches of bruises were scattered along her jaw and throat.</p><p>“I am so glad you’re here, I was worried he’d find me. Levi spoke with the innkeeper, but he’s leaving today, and I just <em>know</em> – “</p><p>“Emine,” you grabbed her arms gently, “I’m not going to let Michaelis find you. I’m not leaving you here, either. This was just a temporary measure. I spoke with the guild master about him, and I can tell you now that there is a reckoning coming for him.”</p><p>She took a deep breath, bringing a hand to her forehead. The heat and tightness that Levi had riled up earlier was returning as her breasts shifted against the thin material, her nipples drawing small peaks in the cotton. You shook your head against the desire to reach out and pull her into you.</p><p>“Have you eaten?” You looked around the room for signs of plates or cups but saw only the small bag. She shook her head. “Well, have you had a chance to bathe?” She nodded, a hand combing through her hair absent-mindedly. “Ok, good. If you would like to change into more suitable clothing, I can wait outside.”</p><p>“Why would you need to do that? We’re both women.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, however… the way I treated you the first day we met makes that a little less proper. Don’t you think?” You looked her in the eyes as you winced with embarrassment.</p><p>She blushed but held your gaze. Bringing her hands up, she grabbed one of yours and held it, the blush deepening. “Perhaps it’s the excitement from yesterday, and the way you stepped in, but I almost...”</p><p>You shook your head, waving your other hand in front of you. “Emine, I’m going to step out as you dress. This is neither the time nor the place to get distracted.”</p><p>Pulling your hand out of hers, you wrenched yourself towards the door. Closing the door behind you, you rested your head against the wood, letting out a controlled breath. The sensation of the soft skin of her hands against yours lingered, stoking the fire.</p><p>Closing your eyes, you imagined her slipping off the nightgown, the plump flesh of her hips and breasts bared and blushing. Your hand reaching out in front of you, pushing her onto the bed as you caressed her thighs, digging your thumbs in as your hands massaged higher and higher…</p><p>The door opened suddenly behind you, and you barely caught yourself in time; Emine stood with her bag in her hands, wearing a pair of tan slacks and a deep-cut ruffled white blouse that gathered all along the length of her waist.</p><p>Her boots reminded you of your own, their soft leather folded over at the top of the ankle in a thick collar. Her hair was braided messily down one side, a few lengths framing her face; she was breathtaking in the morning light. You swallowed hard as you nodded appreciatively.</p><p>“Now, where are we going?” she smiled, her cheeks pink.</p><p>“I’m taking you to the guild master’s house. Flegel Reeves’s family will protect you while I find this Michaelis Forster and deal with him.”</p><hr/><p>Erwin was awake and dressed when you returned to his quarter’s and sitting at the couch, a cup of tea and a plate of bread and cheese on the table in front of him. He looked up with a smile as you closed the door behind you and kicked off your boots.</p><p>“No cup for me?” You pouted. He pointed to the desk, where the plain tea pot and a second cup were sitting. The steam curled as you poured the cup, your stomach growling angrily as you drained it and poured another. Brining the cup over to the couch, you sat to his right and set the cup on the table.</p><p>“You kept your promise. I didn’t have to send a search part after all.” He leaned into you and kissed your temple as you closed your eyes.</p><p>More grumbling issued from your belly as you reached for the bread and cheese, twisting on the cushions to lay across his lap as you chewed. He stroked your hair, his fingers pressing into your scalp gently as they ran through the strands. You looked up at his face as you swallowed, humming happily; he chuckled as he gazed lovingly at you.</p><p>Reaching up, you cupped his face with both hands, stroking his eyebrows softly. His skin was smooth and even toned, his cheeks sharp and somewhat hollow from years of hard training.</p><p>When he would speak in formal settings his affect was fierce and cold, but now the fine lines around his eyes crinkled happily. The corners of his mouth, normally frozen, fluttered up and down as he smiled in little bursts.</p><p>Your eyes took in every little motion, every detail of his features as your hands stroked from his cheeks to his neck. Sitting up, you took a long sip from your cup and straddled his lap, continuing your gentle exploration.</p><p>His hand deftly opened the buttons down your shirt as you untucked his, your hands slipping around his waist to his back. His cheekbones glowed with arousal, his eyes focused on your lips as he pushed the jacket and shirt down one of your shoulders. Leaning in to kiss him, you ground your hips against his, pulling against them with your hands.</p><p>“Erwin…” you breathed against his lips. He twisted his fingers into your hair and pulled your head back, exposing your neck to his teeth and tongue. Moans of pleasure and desperation trickled out of you as he nibbled, sucked and kissed his way to your collar bone, his tongue drawing small circles along its ridge.</p><p>You pulled your jacket and shirt off, unbuttoning your pants hurriedly as you kissed him, his hand twisting back into your hair. The position was too cramped to go much further, so you broke away from him and stood, grabbing the hem of his pants and pulling as he lifted his hips.</p><p>Shimmying your slacks off, you pulled the material around your hip hard, loosening the bottom portion of the undergarment while tightening the portion along your ribs. The sharp increase in pressure made your breath catch as Erwin tugged impatiently at the wrappings. His erection grew as the bindings tightened, creating small curves of flesh around your stomach and breasts.</p><p>“Fuck… the sight of you restricted like this… I could play with you for hours doing this,” he pinched and squeezed your breasts as you whimpered and sighed, “listening to all the little sounds you make.”</p><p>“When you talk like that, I feel like,” you kissed him as you climbed back onto his lap, hand circling his shaft and stroking slowly, “you could make me do anything. It’s dangerous.”</p><p>His hand slid down your stomach, pulling the material around your lips aside as he stared into your eyes. “Ride,” he commanded, his voice low and breathy.</p><p> The feeling of sinking onto him, slick coating his cock as you both moaned and gasped, cheeks and chests reddened by passion, broke over you like crashing waves. Every time your ass slapped against his thighs he bucked his hips, the couch creaking with each thrust.</p><p>You clawed at his chest as his hand twisted the material still binding your chest. A guttural noise, like a growl and a cry, issued from your throat as your hips rocked against the increased friction of the strips of material around your lips.</p><p>“Fuck, fuck, Erwin, its too much – ”</p><p>“If you’re going to speak, don’t complain,” his lips closed around a fleshy bit under your breast, his teeth sinking in as he kissed, “or I’ll give something worth crying over.”</p><p>He continued to bite and kiss the exposed flesh around your ribcage. Whining, you grabbed him by the hair and held him fast, eyes locked on his mouth as his hand snaked around to your back, gently squeezing your hips and buttocks as you rolled your hips up and down the full length of him.</p><p>His breath caught in his chest as his arm wrapped around you and pulled you tight, stopping your motion. You found the shudders of breath as he resisted his orgasm erotic, and you struggled against his arm as you clenched viciously around him. He groaned, his hand sharply smacking your ass before gripping with pincer-like ferocity on the flesh.</p><p>Planting small kisses on his hair and temples, you gently pushed him back against the couch and began riding slowly. “Erwin, why are you stopping yourself from cumming?”</p><p>His face was a mixture of lust and a faint glimmer of sadness. His hand stroked from your neck to below your navel, his eyes following the path as you rose and fell on him. “I want to savor this; your beautiful body, the feel of your skin against mine, the taste of it.</p><p>You stopped, sinking down onto him as you laid your hands against his stomach. You watched the muscles move softly under your fingers with each breath he took, looking up as you spoke.</p><p>“You’ll still have this when you return, victorious as ever.”</p><p>His eyes met yours; they were the color of the sky after a storm breaks, shining with tears as he smiled. Your heart swelled, breaching its banks as it broke open, fear and love and a desperate need to cover him with the shield of your back against everything that wasn’t him pouring out.</p><p>You pulled him close, hands cupping his head and fingers spreading wide as his tears rolled down your neck and chest. You stood and took his hand before leading him into the bedroom.</p><hr/><p>Levi knew his gambit was risky as he parted ways with her outside Flegel’s home. There was no denying that she was intrigued by him, and he had to admit to himself that he was fascinated with her. Their initial introduction in the capital floated to the surface of his mind as he walked back to his quarters.</p><p>Her shoulders had been set back like a soldier’s and her gait was smooth and confident walking through the small antechamber. It was as though she owned a space as soon as she entered it, eyes coolly passing over the guards and well-wishers around the Queen as she had followed Pixis.</p><p>Her handshake had been firm, gazing warmly down at him as she smiled during the introduction. Levi couldn’t help but feel a touch of curiosity about what kind of women she was as they made polite conversation. He took to watching her furtively whenever they were in the same room.</p><p>She was usually quiet in meetings, sitting off to the side and never at the main table. There would always be an attendant with a pen and notebook standing by her side, eyes trained on the floor in front of her feet.</p><p>Whenever she would lift a hand they would bow quickly, writing furiously as she whispered to them, then rushing off and reappearing a short time later with another whispered message. Her input was infrequent but powerful, garnering even the Queen’s deference.</p><p>His lingering curiosity pushed him to follow her out of the meeting room on one occasion. She had dressed down one of the more insolent military police captains during a dispute over the allocation of forces to the underground operations.</p><p>He wanted to ask her why she had sounded so angry as she defended the mission he was pushing so adamantly. It had come as a shock to most of the attendees, as her input was always delivered with a cool indifference. To his surprise, she had moved too quickly and quietly through the maze of corridors and had slipped away before he had the chance.</p><p>He soon heard rumors about her more brazen behavior. The picture painted of her fit all his assumptions about people from the capital, even as it distorted the one he’d been building of her in his mind.</p><p>The illustrious reports of her sexual appetites, harrowing stories of the steely glare that precipitated the flash of her beloved knives and the open-faced disgust with which the few remaining aristocrats spoke of her cast a long shadow. He had begun to wonder how Erwin had become so close to someone so seemingly egoistic and cold-blooded. When he asked Erwin about her, the response was simply that she was well suited for the job.</p><p>Hange had glowing stories about fistfights and night-long discussions about the nature of people and the world over the few years they had known her, though they said she never wanted to talk about the work the Survey Corps did. When Levi asked why Hange knew her at all and he didn’t, they said they thought he was too cantankerous to be bothered spending time ‘making friends’, so they never invited him along for their capers.</p><p>As he cleaned and oiled his gear in his quarters, inspecting the equipment in the mid-day sun, he cogitated on the impending mission; keeping Eren safe was foremost in his mind, and he knew it would likely require shedding more human blood. Foe and friend alike.</p><p>He tsked as he thought about her request again, frustration welling up in his chest. Erwin’s gamble to secure the walls and the basement was already risky. Their forces were outrageously depleted, restricting the tactical options open to them. The carnage of the coup d’état would pale in comparison, considering the sophistication of the enemy they faced. Keeping Erwin alive would be the least of his problems.</p><p>As he cleared the teacups from the side table, the image of her relaxing next to him on the couch crossed his mind. Those moments as they played off one another both calmed and excited him. He sighed to himself as he checked the leather of his harness for cracks, a tension building in his heart and groin while he envisioned how he had wanted the morning to go.</p><p>Knocking the tea out of her hand and straddling her.</p><p>Taking her face in his hands and kissing her until she couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Dragging her over to the bed and tearing that high-collared shirt open.</p><p>Fucking her with one hand around her throat, the other over her mouth to smother her moans.</p><p>Leaving bruises and bite marks on her back as he took her from behind, their knees grinding into the hard wooden floor.</p><p>If she had given him any indication that she was willing, he would have demolished her.</p><p>The sun was beginning to dip when he saw her at the final briefing, her hair in a different style from the morning. Again she remained quiet and to the side, waiting patiently for the briefing to end. After the commanders saluted, she stayed near the back of the room as everyone slowly filed out. Levi watched as Erwin stopped in front of her, their faces open and expressive as they held each other’s gaze in silence.</p><p>He watched as she squeezed her eyes shut and pulled him close while he kissed the top of her head, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He saw as she lifted her face to his, tears falling as she laughed, saying something in hushed tones. Erwin chuckled with her, his eyes soft as he pulled her in for a long kiss. Turning away, Levi called out to Erwin to hurry up, stifling the bittersweet feeling blooming inside him.</p><p>There was no mistaking the depth of her connection to Erwin, nor his to her. He groaned at the heated images still running through his mind, his tongue and jaw working as he made his way to the stables. The image of her brow furrowing with sadness lingered near the front, though, tears streaming down her face as she desperately hid her fear inside the passionate embrace.</p>
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